Drive-thru prayer service is now a thing.

Sometimes you just need a prayer.  Not just any old prayer like when you ask god to do something yourself.  No, sometimes you need someone else to ask god to do the thing you want, because that works better.

And when you need someone else to ask god to alleviate some of the suffering he designed into existence, sometimes you need the type of prayer you can’t get by phoning it in or by emailing someone to ask them to talk to god for you.  We’re talking important stuff where you need to ask the go-between designated praying person face-to-face to talk to god for you (otherwise how can you be sure the prayer would work?).  But who has time for that in today’s busy world?

Well don’t worry (if you live in Dalton, Georgia)!  Now there is drive-through prayer service!

Church-goers in Georgia can now welcome the Lord into their hearts without leaving the confines of their cars thanks to weekly drive-thru prayer missions hosted by Cedar Valley Cathedral of Praise each Sunday.

I’ll bet they’ll even let you supersize your prayer for a modest donation.  It’s powerful stuff, just ask Anne Keith, who has been convinced by the drive-through prayer window of god’s tremendous power:

“They gave me a prayer cloth,” said Keith. “My church doesn’t do that. It reminds me every day of my life that I have faith that God can do anything. There’s nothing God cannot do. It reminds me of hope and strength. I carry two with me. I won’t get dressed without them. They have a calling. I think it’s a very sweet, caring, loving ministry. I think that’s a blessing in this world.”

A prayer cloth?  Does that amplify the praying power in some way?  Are prayers to god made with the official cloth somehow more powerful than the exact same prayer recited without it?  What if they had given her a prayer twig or a prayer rock?  Is the cloth really that amazing?

God can do anything.  If we take that claim at face value, god could demonstrate his power in any number of ways, not the least of which would be coming to Anne’s house and handing her the piece of fabric himself.  We’re not talking about creating a galaxy here, we’re talking about fashioning a flimsy piece of fabric and handing it to someone – easy for mortals, but god’s never managed it.  In this case Anne got into her car (made by humans) of her own volition, drove to a building (built by humans) to receive a piece of cloth (made by humans) from another human, and now she is assured that god has the power to do anything having witnessed regular old mortals doing the mundane.

I pity Anne, and I pity her more for every dollar that is siphoned from her to the collection plate of these charlatans.

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.


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