New Dinosaur Exhibit at the Creationist Museum Explains Everything

Not Ken Ham’s image, but from a like-minded organization.

This week, Ken Ham released a couple of new ads for his Creationist Museum that explain all about dinosaurs and his new “Dragon Legends” exhibit. They’re kind of painful to hear, but if you’re in the right mood, they could make you snicker.

This one actually starts out okay:

YouTube Preview Image

But, yeah, that ending was excruciating.

There’s one all about dinosaur DNA, and the finding of soft tissue in T. rex bones that proves dinos can only be a few thousand years old:

YouTube Preview Image

Ham wants us to investigate these scientific claims that can’t possibly be true, so please do. The story of the specimen and paleontologist Mary Schweitzer’s find is really fascinating, as is the follow-up paper published last fall that confirms the amazing discovery of preserved soft tissue in other Cretaceous specimens, too, and she presented the paper in a talk given at the 2012 annual meeting of the Society of Vertebrate Paleontology in October. For paleontology geeks like me, this was huge, huge news. I mean, any discovery that makes us shift our scientific thinking is worth being impressed by, especially when test after test confirms its truth.

Then there’s this, explaining how scientists use dinosaurs to indoctrinate children, when we know that Noah really saved them all in the ark:

YouTube Preview Image

Sadly, Ken Ham’s just not getting enough love – or donations – for his life-size reconstruction of the Ark.  He plans, I’m sure, to outfit the 500-ft. boat with scale models of Brontotherium, Apatasaurus, T. rex, Spinosaurus, Brachiosaurus, Deinotherium, Stegosaurus, Triceratops, Indricotherium, Diplodocus, Seisomosaurus, Quetzalcoatlus, Argentavis magnificens, and Aepyornis.

After loading the necessary pairs of land-based behemoths, there will, of course, be no room for marginally-sized creatures aboard this ark. So sad that rocs, moas, cave lions, Eohippus, Irish elk, Glossotherium, all the duck-billed dinosaurs, mastodons, protoceratops, smilodons, oviraptors, kentrosaurs, hypsilophodons, ground sloths, Iguanodons, and the rest of our favorite dinos and prehistoric critters will have been drowned in this Ham-handed retelling of the flood fable.

Naturally, Ardipithecus, Australopithecus, and any iteration of the genus Homo except, of course, Homo sapiens sapiens, are just frauds perpetuated by those pesky paleoanthropologists.

Oh, Ken Ham, you’re so cute, with all your science-denial and your confusion of scientific discovery with conspiracies against our babies.

Now, go away. You annoy us.

++++++++++++++

Got a legal question? Email me at anne@aramink.com. I’m a lawyer, but there’s only a 2% chance I’m licensed in your state. Whether I answer your question or not, sending me an email or reading this blog post does not create an attorney-client relationship between us. I’m on Twitter as @aramink, and you can see my regular blog at www.aramink.com.

  • steve b

    There’s only one way all those critters could fit on the ark: it’s bigger on the inside!

    • baal

      I’ve seen video of an alien who has a small police box like that so well, it’s totally possible.

      • The_Schwa

        True. I have read several books (biographies of young boy named Harry something) that explain how certain tents and trunks can behave that way, too. These are real, actual books, not ebooks, so you can trust them!

  • The_Schwa

    I hope there is section describing why all the griffons, centaurs, minotaurs, unicorns, beholders, and displacer beasts were left off the ark. I mean, only SOME of those are chaotic evil!

    • Jeff

      In the case of beholders (and possibly displacer beasts, though I’m not sure on that one), they would have been left off the ark because they are the intellectual property of one spooooooky wizard who lives by the coast.

      http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0032.html

    • Joven

      Of course, having a few Otyughs (i guess just the 2, since I doubt they would count as “clean” animals) would have solved the waste problem that having all those dinosaurs and rhinos and elephants and stuff would cause.

  • baal

    I hope someone does look at the DNA. I strongly suspect it’s highly fragmented since that molecule undergoes autolysis over time. If she did find extant proteins, it should be possible to sequence them (yes you can sequence proteins) and see where they fall in the ‘tree of life’ otoh, if it’s collagen type proteins, that process can be impossible due to sequence repeats.

  • jawh

    It might actually be a good thing for this Ark to get built
    …so that creationists going to see it can see with their own eyes how many species (sorry, “kinds”) wouldn’t be able to fit on it.

  • EvolutionKills

    Have one company build a scale model of the ark. Have another independent company build a bunch of dinosaur scale models. Bring them together at one location and watch Ken Ham’s psyche break at seeing a multi-million dollar refutation of his bullshit in progress. Just like a Noah’s Ark kids toys, it will self refute, all the pieces will not fit on the boat.

  • freeterri61 .

    Its a damp morning here in London though listening to Ham’s comedy sketches certainly cheered me up.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X