This week, Ken Ham released a couple of new ads for his Creationist Museum that explain all about dinosaurs and his new “Dragon Legends” exhibit. They’re kind of painful to hear, but if you’re in the right mood, they could make you snicker.
This one actually starts out okay:
But, yeah, that ending was excruciating.
There’s one all about dinosaur DNA, and the finding of soft tissue in T. rex bones that proves dinos can only be a few thousand years old:
Ham wants us to investigate these scientific claims that can’t possibly be true, so please do. The story of the specimen and paleontologist Mary Schweitzer’s find is really fascinating, as is the follow-up paper published last fall that confirms the amazing discovery of preserved soft tissue in other Cretaceous specimens, too, and she presented the paper in a talk given at the 2012 annual meeting of the Society of Vertebrate Paleontology in October. For paleontology geeks like me, this was huge, huge news. I mean, any discovery that makes us shift our scientific thinking is worth being impressed by, especially when test after test confirms its truth.
Sadly, Ken Ham’s just not getting enough love – or donations – for his life-size reconstruction of the Ark. He plans, I’m sure, to outfit the 500-ft. boat with scale models of Brontotherium, Apatasaurus, T. rex, Spinosaurus, Brachiosaurus, Deinotherium, Stegosaurus, Triceratops, Indricotherium, Diplodocus, Seisomosaurus, Quetzalcoatlus, Argentavis magnificens, and Aepyornis.
After loading the necessary pairs of land-based behemoths, there will, of course, be no room for marginally-sized creatures aboard this ark. So sad that rocs, moas, cave lions, Eohippus, Irish elk, Glossotherium, all the duck-billed dinosaurs, mastodons, protoceratops, smilodons, oviraptors, kentrosaurs, hypsilophodons, ground sloths, Iguanodons, and the rest of our favorite dinos and prehistoric critters will have been drowned in this Ham-handed retelling of the flood fable.
Naturally, Ardipithecus, Australopithecus, and any iteration of the genus Homo except, of course, Homo sapiens sapiens, are just frauds perpetuated by those pesky paleoanthropologists.
Oh, Ken Ham, you’re so cute, with all your science-denial and your confusion of scientific discovery with conspiracies against our babies.
Now, go away. You annoy us.
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