Elections in Maldives postponed in response to the most insidious of vote-rigging plots.

Ever participated in an election while wondering if you were being controlled by black magic to vote a certain way?  Well, authorities and election officials in Maldives are onto that shit.

A vote-rigging row has erupted in the Maldives ahead of Saturday’s presidential election amid suspicions that one party is using cursed coconuts imbued with black magic spells to sway voters’ political allegiances.

The claims came after a coconut, described as “young”, was placed near a polling booth in an alleged bid to disrupt the upcoming elections.

The fruit had been inscribed with verse from the Koran and placed near the booth at a school on the remote Kaafu atoll – Guraidhoo, one of the islands that make up the Indian Ocean archipelago state.

Black magic is often used to prevent people from voting or influence them on the islands.

And the police reacted as you would expect them to react to such a grave threat:

Following the discovery of the ‘cursed’ coconut police brought in a ‘ruqyah’ practitioner (white magician) to examine the coconut.

The expert found the black magic element of the coconut was fake, Maldives channel Minivan News reported. “Because it’s a fake the police are not worried,” the source said.

Oh thank heavens that this particular black magic element was fake.  You can imagine the ramifications if this had been one of those real black magic elements.  I think it’s kind of amusing that nowhere do they consider prayer an effective way of altering elections (otherwise it would be prohibited).  But black magic coconuts?  Those could do some real damage.

Prayer: less powerful than black magic coconuts.

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About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.