Girl scout cookies are the devil. Buy them.

And they’re not the devil just because they’ll go straight to your ass.  No, they’re actually a conduit for your “In God We Trust” paper to wind up straight in the hands of evil (read: people who think women can be independent and happy).  Listen to the hosts of Generations Radio, Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner, give you all the details:

Swanson: The individualism of feminism has been devastating to this country. I’d say you ought to say no the Girl Scout cookies too. I don’t want to support lesbianism, I don’t want to support Planned Parenthood and I don’t want to support abortion, and if that be the case I’m not buying Girl Scout cookies. Now I suppose if you take a big, fat, black magic marker and you say, ‘give me that box,’ and you start marking out all of the references to the Girl Scouts of America on all the boxes then maybe we’re not promoting that organization anymore and I’d be willing to buy it. Maybe it’s not food offered to idols anymore if I had the opportunity to scratch out references to the Girl Scouts of America on the boxes of the Girl Scout cookies offered to me at Safeway.

Buehner: Those are some pretty expensive cookies you’re eating though. At some point a Christian has to say, ‘the earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof,’ and where you spend your money does count.

Swanson: It does and I don’t want to promote a wicked organization that according to its own website doesn’t promote godly womanhood, it just doesn’t, I don’t see anything that promotes godly womanhood. The vision of the Girl Scouts of America is antithetical to a biblical vision for womanhood, it’s antithetical to it.

Buehner alleged that girls shouldn’t participate in Girl Scout sales because they might then think it is acceptable to be “a woman who is going to compete with men in the marketplace,” when they should train their daughters on how to become “a woman who will be a helpmeet to a man so he can compete in the marketplace.”

Swanson added that Girl Scouts are creating a generation of independent women who will put a “communist in the White House” and promote the “gay and lesbian agenda.”

If the biblical version of womanhood is dehumanizing then in the mind of any compassionate person humanity should win out over the bible.  Sadly, Swanson and Buehner don’t live up to that standard.

When women, including lesbians, being equal is seen as evil, you’ve just kicked yourself loose from human kind, and the bible has helped you to do it.  If we care for one another, it makes no sense to bind one gender, including all their hopes and dreams, to act as nothing more than a sidekick for the other gender.  Oh no!  If we buy these cookies then women might want to compete in the marketplace.  I hope they fucking do!  If men are naturally better, as the bible thumpers seem to believe, then women competing shouldn’t be a problem.

It’s only a problem because women are just as capable.  Blame god – he made them that way.

  • Rebecca Thornton

    My little sister is a girl scout. After reading this, I have never been happier she is.

  • George Waye

    The Girl Scouts have also allowed transgendered membership and lesbian leaders, and have generally been one of the most “disgustingly progressive” service organizations in the United States.
    I have made a habit of supporting them for years now, even when they switched from the delicious original cookies to the hardly-even-edible mint thins.

  • Techno Spice

    Man now I’m craving Samoas and PB Patties


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