So this happened:
Archbishop Jozef Michalik, head of Poland’s influential Episcopate, was commenting this month on revelations about Polish pedophile priests. A child from a troubled family, Michalik told reporters, “seeks closeness with others and may get lost and may get the other person involved, too.”
Yes, because each one of the multitude of victims in Poland came from a troubled family. Sounds statistically unlikely in the extreme, but there you go. And each one of those troubled youths sought closeness, and practically grabbed the moral, upstanding priests by the junk and forced them to have sex. It was really the kids raping the reluctant priests, you see. Jesus fucking Christ.
Of course, after there was an outpouring of revulsion, Michalik assured everybody that’s not what he meant:
The words triggered an immediate uproar — one that Michalik tried to stamp out the same day by apologizing and saying he had been misunderstood. He had not, he said, meant to suggest that child victims were in any way responsible.
What else could he have possibly meant? This is the way people tend to read the bible: “put anybody to death who works on the sabbath? Oh, that clearly means don’t kill them.”
“Oh, he said the victims drag the rapist along with them? He clearly meant that the victims were in no way responsible.”
Maybe this is why communication with religious people often goes sour…they say things like “atheists are immoral monsters worthy of hell” when they really mean “atheists are great people, here’s a cupcake.” Now I’m just pissed I’ve probably missed out on a lot of cupcakes.