I love my new therapist (who picked my file out of the intake folder because she thought it looked interesting). For the sake of anonymity when I write about my therapy sessions, let’s call her Katy Perry. Katy is extremely analytical, direct and to-the-point (but still with a sense of humor), big on evidence-based therapy, and not opposed to medication (she even directed me to a local clinic that could possibly get me back on my meds). All in all, I’m really optimistic.
The first few sessions with a new therapist are generally a Q&A where they get familiar with you and your condition so they know best how to treat you. On the blog I’ll write about how my condition affects me, but I won’t write about how it interacts with other people in my life because they didn’t ask for that. But with my therapist today I did talk about those things, and it hit me harder than I expected. I talked about what catalyzed my first suicide attempt (and the person who set me off) and I talked about friends in my own life who have become triggers for me (through no fault of their own). I felt guilty, but I needed to be honest in order to have the best chance of recovery (and I believe in honesty pretty much all the time anyway, even when it ain’t easy). And talking about those things, I think, helped me to accept them.
Interesting story: Katy asked how Michaelyn and I get along. She asked what our fights were like and I think Katy was a bit shocked when I told her that Michaelyn and I don’t fight. We really don’t. We never have. If anything our “fights” look like this:
“Hey, you said this thing that made me feel this way.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll try not to do that again.”
“Awesome, let’s make out!”
I guess that’s just one more way in which we’re weird.
We talked about my obsession with the scale, and I think she’s going to want me to ask Michaelyn to hide the scale. We may just weigh myself once per week when I go in for my sessions. That will be hard.