An atheist Pokemon Go group.

Man, Richard Haynes has done a great job of cataloging some of the Christian craziness surrounding Pokemon Go:

I’ve had a lot of fun writing about Pokémon Go recently. I told you about the crazy Christian radio host who is ignorant of how Google Maps work. I offered peer-reviewed commentary (okay, not really) of Ken “Yaba Dabba Do” Ham’s  evidence that Pokémon Go confirmed creationism. And, who can forget the awesomeness of Westboro Baptist Church’s Pokémon Go gym?

Today, I would like to bring your attention to another preacher. His name is Dwain Miller, and he is the pastor Cross Life Church in El Dorado, Arizona. Yes, it’s funny how ridiculous he is, however, it is not so funny what he reveals about his interaction with three children. Check out his Facebook video:

Brothers and sisters, I charge that this man is a child abuser. At its best, casting demons out of children psychologically scars them for life. This man is free to believe what he wants, but children cannot consent to his BS.

Exclusive to this blog, we have a sneak peek inside of Dwain Miller’s trusty Lisa Frank notebook:

666

Not only that, it seems Pokemon Go gyms are popping up in a lot of churches (and Hemant explained why).  And it can’t be that bad since one of the Pokemon movies earned a blessing from the pope himself (the same pope that helped cover up the rape of children, so maybe not the best endorsement for a kids franchise).

So what are we to do?  Well, just like with sex, drinking, and all the other things we do that make Jesus cry, we do it together.  I’m very much in the “if god hates it, that means I enjoy it more” camp.  So, with that in mind, I give you the Federation of Atheist Poketrainers (F.A.P.):

FAP

That’s right, Pokemon Go players!  It’s time to grab your balls and FAP together.  Pokemon Go gym at a local church?  It will soon belong to us!  Their Clefairy is no match for my Fapdos!

Who knows, perhaps one day we’ll even have some clothing options for people who like to dress up to FAP:

FAP HATS

Join the Facebook group today.

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