Taking a moment away from his Love Worth Fighting For national tour on Christian marriage, actor-turned- evangelist Kirk Cameron told The Christian Post. this week:
“Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband’s lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband. When each person gets their part right, regardless of how their spouse is treating them, there is hope for real change in their marriage… A lot of people don’t know that marriage comes with instructions. And, we find them right there in God’s word.””
Why The Outrage? The thing is, I don’t understand why this interview is making so many “shocking” headlines in secular news media. He’s only expressing what most churches still preach on a weekly basis, what has been the common theme of Biblical marriage for thousands of years, and is still part of most wedding ceremonies today, reminding wives to, “submit to your husbands in every way.” Did the secular world really not have any idea that this type of inequality is readily taught in scripture and practiced in Christian households around the world?
The scary part isn’t that men like Kirk Cameron (and a likely majority of pastors) spouts this misogynistic drivel. No, the scary part is that millions of women actually believe and willingly accept it as… the Gospel truth. Given Cameron’s previous statements about wanting his daughters to be just like the Duggars, “regardless of how their spouse is treating them,” well – I’ll let you connect the dots and jump to your own conclusions as to the validity of such advice and aspirations.
I will never forget when the pastor officiating our wedding (a friend of my in-laws) threw in little gems like this for our guests, “Marriage is like a dance. It is the husband’s job to lead. It is the wife’s job to be beautiful and follow her husband’s lead.” (We were absolutely mortified that our guests might have thought we asked him to spout such nonsense.) Of course, this pastor came from a denomination that, still today believes:
Well, what can you say? No, I guess the question is to women: What can YOU say? (Not much, according to the Word Of God…) You just can’t make this stuff up, folks. Sadly, you don’t have to. Here’s just one more little Biblical reminder for the Christian women readers:
“The Bible teaches that women are not to speak in church. The fact that our society is in rebellion against the biblical teaching regarding women does not make the Bible obsolete; it makes us who adopt the world’s values shameful and dishonoring to the Lord.” – James W. Scott
“Women should learn quietly and submissively. I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly. For God made Adam first, and afterward he made Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived, and sin was the result. But women will be saved through childbearing, assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty.” – 1 Timothy 2:11-15 (NLT)
Incidentally, I feel I should actually thank the pastor who performed our ceremony. It’s all we talked about on our wedding night, ultimately leading us to reject the common trappings of Biblical marriage, and eventually – Christianity as a whole. As a result, we have one of the happiest, healthiest marriages on the planet. And for that, Rev. – we thank you!
My heart just breaks for the women who find themselves in Christian marriages that have led them to accept a lesser, subservient role in society, all because a “wicked woman” allegedly ate a piece for forbidden fruit thousands of years ago. Wake up!
– Horus Gilgamesh
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Pssttt… The above illustration appears in a different context to discuss different Bible passages as part of our first book of awkward Bible stories – illustrated for adults. (It also just happens to be on sale at the moment for $12 at Amazon.com).