January 28: “Spiritual Conditioning”
(Whatever That Is)
Ugh… like I don’t have more interesting things to do on a Saturday than delve into a book that was re-gifted to me by an angry zealot in order to try to decipher the cryptic Christianese found inside? But, alas – a bet’s a bet, so… on we go with my daily review. I’ll warn you – I’m a little grumpier than usual today.
Verse Of The Day: “The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.” – Psalm 29:11
Fine, sure, yes – that’s another conveniently unprovable Bible verse, whatever. So what? What’s the point? This verse directly follows a reminder that God also murdered everyone he created (except for Noah’s family), “The LORD sat as King at the flood; Yes, the LORD sits as King forever” – but now we’re supposed to accept that the supernatural serial killer bestows strength and peace when he’s not busy drowning babies? Fine, whatever – believe whatever you want without evidence. I’m simply not having it today. But, wait – this verse promises peace? What about the Jews in the Middle East? What about “Christians getting their heads cut off” in Syria? Come on… Oh, but then I’ll be reminded that “peace” is referring to peace with God in heaven, not here on earth. Pfftt… another unprovable claim – how convenient.
Today’s Theistic Themes: Today’s devotional is about strength – built upon a lazy analogy with the idea that, much like building your muscles by lifting weights at the gym, you can increase the strength of your… what? Honestly – I have no idea what dots the author was hoping to connect with today’s entry. Is this about personal faith? A relationship with God? Kegel muscles? Seriously – I have no idea, the book never actually brings the devotional back to the original topic. However, the one thing I did learn is that it’s a good idea to put your headphones in your ears during lunch to ignore your classmates or co-workers while isolating yourself to listen to your favorite Christian podcast. Well, that’s certainly one way to make sure you feel persecuted, I guess. Once you have no real friends left in your life, your only option is the Imaginary One. Cult Training: 101.
Short Secular Alternative: Here’s the deal – I can actually measure the progress of my strength training at the gym. Likewise, I can measure the progress of my education by testing my knowledge and aptitude in the subject at hand. But, the strength of a relationship with an absentee father whom I’ve never met? Not so much. I’m not saying that it’s not important to spend time pursuing things that can’t be measured. I’m just saying, don’t expect a pat on the back for achieving some arbitrary level of “spiritual conditioning” that could never be quantified. There are countless ways we can condition ourselves to live healthier, productive, and meaningful lives – no gods necessary.
P.S. Yep, I’m finally getting around to putting up a little tip jar.
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