Why is It So Hard for You to Express Your True Feelings?

Yes, Why Is It So Hard for You to Express Your True Feelings?

Yes, why is it so hard for you to express your true feelings? I watch so many movies that depict people afraid to express the way they truly feel.  Sigh.  I know it’s only a TV show.  But it still saddens me that people watch these shows and react the same way they see relationships depicted on TV.

So, just why is it so hard for you to express your feelings?  And if I hear one more time that it’s because you’ve been hurt and don’t want to be hurt again, I think I will scream!  In nine out of ten times, relationships fail because of the actions of BOTH parties, although my friends would disagree with me.

Relationships Fail Because Our Priorities are Elsewhere

According to them, they were the saint, and the other party was the devil.  Sometimes this is true, but in most cases, relationships fail because our priorities are elsewhere.  My mother always told me that I should watch how a man treats me during the courtship, because that’s the best it will ever get.  It’s downhill from there.  And she was right.

Once the thrill of the chase ended, they lost interest.  On both sides.  They failed to continue making their relationship their priority, directing their energy elsewhere, either on their job or on their kids.

I believe that many relationships fail because one party expects the other party to MAKE THEM HAPPY.  It doesn’t work that way.  The lasting relationships come when you are ALREADY HAPPY WITH YOURSELF.  And just like our precious animals, your joy comes from giving love, and not expecting anything in return.

To Express Your True Feelings and RECEIVE Love, Learn to GIVE Love

I have talked to so many of my friends who want a loving relationship but have given up finding it. I encourage them to follow the Universal Law that says, “What you PUT OUT, you GET BACK.”  In other words, I encourage them to volunteer for something that they enjoy doing that allows them to GIVE LOVE.

This could be working with animals at the local animal shelter. Or helping senior citizens with anything they need help with or reading stories at your local library…you get the picture.  When you GIVE LOVE, you then ATTRACT LOVE.

When I encouraged a friend of mine to do this, since she was STILL talking about how disappointing it was to find a good man, she finally put herself out there and joined Habitat for Humanity, because her dad was a volunteer.  And guess what?  She met the love of her life!  And they are still happily married for over 10 years!

Too Many People Experience “Conditional” Love

I’ve talked on occasion about the type of “Conditional” love that most of us experience.  The kind that says, “I’ll love you ONLY if you do, say, or act a certain way.”  Coupled with this conditional love we lay on everyone is our deep-seated belief that we don’t deserve love anyway.

This triggers the need to actually look for situations to prove our unworthiness.  I’ve seen it happen over and over again.  A girlfriend laments the loss of her boyfriend, and then states, “Of course, I knew it wouldn’t last.  I’m almost relieved that I don’t have to worry and wonder when it will end.”  Yup.  I hear this every day.  It’s as if they were holding their breath, waiting for the breakup to happen.

Many Times, Our Fearful Thoughts Actually Create a Failed Relationship

One woman’s husband left her at Christmas.  She has no idea that her father walking out on her and her mom at Christmas back when she was 13 created a fear of loss that manifested in her own marriage 20 years later.  And yes, our minds are that strong!  We can really create the very situation we fear.

As Job 3:25 says: “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”

I listen to many of my friends talk about the problems they are having in their relationships, and just shake my head.  Although I don’t throw in my two cents worth, since it’s none of my business, I do say a silent prayer of hope.

I Pray Their EGO Self is Replaced with Their Higher Self

I hope that this person’s EGO (Easing God Out) Self, that looks for reasons for the relationship to fail, is replaced by their Higher Self, that knows that the greatest joy comes from giving love to someone JUST THE WAY THEY ARE. This is the same way God loves us. This also means LOVING YOURSELF, just the way you are, the same way God loves YOU.

As a matter of fact, if you continually send LOVE-LOVE-LOVE to your significant other, expecting nothing in return, you open them up to be that loving companion you desire. When I started sending LOVE-LOVE-LOVE to my significant other many years ago, expecting nothing in return, he blossomed like a flower. And almost 30 years later, as I continue to send him love, in return he continues to find ways to bring me joy!

This joyful, unconditional love can bring you the greatest joy you will ever experience. Plus, it relieves the pressure of wondering when this person will realize how imperfect you are and end up dumping you anyway.  Let’s just learn to love for the joy of loving.  Period.

I would love to hear your comments.  Please feel free to email me at [email protected].