When I say the title above, “Parents of LGBTQ+, Your Child’s Life Depends on Your Support,” this is not exaggerated or dramatic. It’s reality, especially in red states right now. If you haven’t been regularly attending PFLAG (Parents of Lesbian and Gays) meetings or the equivalent, I believe it’s important because the other parents will tell you what is occurring in their communities. Parents of faith who have LGBTQ+ kids, if your faith community is not openly LGBTQ+ welcoming, reconciling, or affirming in any shape or form, I strongly recommend that you find one that is. The last thing any LGBTQ+ people need right now is rejection which has been linked to psychological damage, self-hatred, substance abuse, and even suicide. The studies show that when one parent fully-affirms their child, the rate of suicide drops for the gay/lesbian child by 50% and over 75% for the transgender/gender expansive child. In our current political climate, safety and acceptance will save lives.
Across every single parent LBGTQ+ organization and affirming and reconciling religious communities, I am finding a common thread, parents of LGBTQ+ children are very worried about the future of their child’s well-being and the other children in the LGBTQ+ community. When I say children, I am speaking of the age range from youth through adulthood, so age should have no limitation on a parent’s love. These parents are worried because there are active laws coming from the Republican party which are pushing families out of their home states, denying gender affirming care, and placing LGBTQ+ people and their families in danger, particularly transgender/gender expansive families because the laws are specifically targeting them ever more than gay/lesbian. I know many of these families who are directly affected now.
Parents of LGBTQ+ kids, particularly parents from culturally conservative (like military families) and conservative religious backgrounds, I cannot recommend LBGTQ+ parent organizations enough. You will be pleased that a number of parents share so much in common: a love for our kids, a desire to keep them safe, a desire to provide well for them, and a desire to give them a future. Nearly all parents want that. As Kamala Harris says, there is a lot more that unites is than what divides us.
I will also tell you why I think LGBTQ+ ministry, particularly interfaith LGBTQ+ ministry, is so important in addition to creating safe and inclusive spaces. For many decades, large parts of the Christian Church have made Church literally unsafe for LGBTQ+ people and their families. When I mean unsafe, I am speaking about increasing the risk of suicide, self-hatred, self-harm, lasting psychological damage, and even endangering the entire family as I mentioned above. I have now spoken with a number of LGBTQ+ people who feel safer in their affirming and reconciling churches than they do in secular society and especially in the non-affirming church. Meaning, I believe the affirming and reconciling church is an antidote to unsafe and non-affirming places. So, if you see me supporting the reconciling and/or affirming church who is welcoming to everyone, this is why!! It’s actually safer than unfriendly secular spaces or spaces who don’t understand how to support LGBTQ+ people and their families.
I give the advice and warnings above because right now because the hatred is worse than I have ever seen it. This hatred can equate to harm. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, the antidote to hate is love.
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