If someone were to tell me that I would travel from a conservative corner of Christianity starting ten years ago to a trans-affirming mainstream Methodist church ten years later, I would not have believed it. It is one thing for a church to officiate gay weddings. It’s a totally different matter for a church to fully embrace and affirm transgender people. It is a unique finding for many communities in Texas, particularly religious communities. The trans-affirming church is an oasis of unconditional love in a very cruel world. I also believe that the trans-affirming church is a gift to all marginalized people and racial minorities because of the expansive net of love and acceptance this type of church casts for all people. I know people from different minority groups who feel safer in an LGBTQ+ affirming church than they do walking down the street or in many other spaces like the workplace or even certain family environments. In retrospect, God knew my husband and I needed a full decade to comprehend that not only did we have a biological lesbian daughter with a chosen lesbian daughter who grew up with our children but also a biological transgender adult child who finally felt safe enough to come out at age 25.
This video clip from Congresswoman Sarah McBride gives some insight about the years of pain that young transgender people can experience before they finally come out. Transgender adults today were once closeted transgender kids. Gender identity starts in the third trimester of pregnancy. It is a biological, scientific, and medical reality just as any other identity or neurodevelopmental disability like Autism. Minus the topic of sexual ethics, gender and sexuality are intrinsic parts of the human identity, and any attempts to alter or change these identities are deeply damaging and potentially deadly. Therefore, every major medical association in the world says to affirm LGBTQ+ identities. Since I believe science and faith are complimentary rather than contradictory, I finally learned how to properly support and affirm LGBTQ+ people.
@nextgenamerica The “party of small government” is back at it trying to insert themselves in private medical decisions. Sarah McBride explained why the GOP’s latest push against the trans community is plain wrong.
Considering that my husband and I raised our children in conservative Christian communities with a progressive emphasis on serving others, God knew that my husband Grant and I needed time to process the realities of our adult children. As I have mentioned other times in my writings from the perspective of a parent and a disability provider with a recently-added clinical LGBTQ+ specialty, parental support saves lives. Let’s review the good and rotten fruit of family acceptance versus the rejection of LGBTQ+ youth and young adult children which can apply to any family, religious or not. Jesus said in Matthew Chapter 7, “How do we know what is true? We look at the fruit.” When we look at the rotten fruit of parents rejecting the LGBTQ+ child in various ways, we find depression, anxiety, self-hatred, shame, substance abuse, instability, self-harm, and even suicide. But when we fully-affirm and embrace the LGBTQ+ child, we find better overall health, self-acceptance, wholeness, stability, joy, and life. Studies show that one fully-affirming parent reduces the rate of suicide for a gay or lesbian child by 40% and by 75% for a transgender/gender diverse child.
The power of a parent’s love saved my family. The trans-affirming church saved my faith in God. Religious parents, if you want to take my advice, find an LGBTQ+ affirming faith community before your child comes out LGBTQ+ or as soon as possible after your child comes out. Years of ministry practice show that the longer you stay in non-affirming spaces, the more likely a faith in God will be harmed. Nothing has tested my faith more than the political weaponization of the American church and my family remaining in non-affirming church spaces for too long. Thanks to Travis Park United Methodist Church for the racial, LGBTQ+, disability, medical, and unhoused reconciling work you do.
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