I got the idea from this video, which I really thought kinda described things anti-SJWs were triggered by than the other way around.
1. Write a trigger warning for a trigger warning.
I remember my first time.
I didn’t think of myself as an SJW. I was just being nice. I knew there were people who might be reading my blog — real-life friends I knew — who might be honestly pained by what I wrote. And I figured there were others like them out there. So I put up a “trigger warning” for a post on rape in the Bible.
In hindsight, I gotta laugh my ass off about how “triggered” anti-SJWs became after seeing the trigger warning. They were beside themselves with shock and outrage. Typical comment from that type was, “I was going to read your post, but then I saw the trigger warning and [insert “triggered” language here].” I was pretty entertained by how offended this maddened crowd became. These days, I’m half-tempted these days to make trigger warning for trigger warnings, but I’d hate to hurt their feelings even more. 😉
2. Tell them that the “because the English language!” logic for there being only two genders is illogical.
What is their problem? I mean — I knew conservative Christians were really, really picky about there being only two genders. But these anti0-SJWs — if you mention there might be more than two genders, you’d think it was the apocalypse.
Get this: India is considerably more homophobic than the United States and generally doesn’t allow same-sex marriage, and they see more than two genders. So does Pakistan. So does Japan, New Zealand (the country of Lord of the Rings — goddamn they’re awesome (sorry/not sorry triggered anti-SJWs :))), Germany, Nepal, Pakistan, the Philippines, and Australia.
I mean, internationally speaking, many people are like, “Yeah, that third-gender thing? That’s been a thing. For years. What are y’all, savages?”
I’m not kidding. Anti-SJWs are treating English language like it’s the holy writ or something. Like it doesn’t ever change.
Hey, wanna go for extra redness in their faces? Try telling them that the singular “they” is 2016’s “Word of the Year.” This change is happening, folks, like it or not, because the people who actually are making the dictionaries and style guides are falling in love.
But really, it’s SO traumatic for them — they’re like, “How am I going to know what pronoun to use!!!!!” Chill. It’s not Armageddon. You’ll survive; you don’t have to drink the bleach just yet.
3. Tell them that the wage gap is a thing.
If any of them actually make it past the title here, I’ll be in a state of shock.
It’s getting in the way of their narrative. Here is their narrative:
The “wage gap” assertion that states women earn 78 cents compared to every dollar a woman makes ignores the fact that women work less-paying jobs than men, and therefore earn less. If you compare the actual earnings of men to that of women in the same jobs, the wage gap virtually disappears.
And that’s where the conversation is supposed to end. In this play, the chagrined person slinks away in defeat and admits what the anti-SJW wanted screamed from the mountaintops all along: WOMEN AND MEN ARE PAID EQUALLY!!!!
Or, even better, the men are at a disadvantage in the job world, not the women.
That’s the line. If you challenge that, they’ll lose their minds.
Try telling them that, however you adjust things, women still tend to earn less than men, that many women have less experience because they are forced out of the workforce due to needing paid maternity leave (and that we are one of only three countries that don’t provide maternity leave), that having a child makes you more likely to get hired if you’re a man and less likely to get hired if you’re a woman due to the fact that 30% of people still think a woman’s place is in the home, and that when women enter a traditionally male-dominated field the respect for and pay in that field drops (indicating that if we see a field as female-dominated, we are more likely to see it as less valuable), and that men are significantly more likely to get promotions in jobs than women.
And that even if you ignore ALL of that and give the anti-SJWs their best shot…again, women still earn less than men.
Man, that notion that we should actually treat women more fairly gives them a temper tantrum! It’s a sight. Even whisper that stuff beyond their incessant yelling that THERE IS NO WAGE GAP and they’re beside themselves with rage.
4. Say we should do something nice for a group that is struggling in America.
Someone once told me that the difference between an SJW and an activist is that an activist gets a ramp built for someone in a wheelchair, while an SJW complains that there are stairs.
That’s not been my experience, at all. An SJW, according to self-proclaimed anti-SJWs, is anyone who gives a shit about the fact that the guy is in a wheelchair and is unable to walk up the stairs — unless, of course, it’s one of their own. The right thing to do, most of the time, is to laugh and make fun of the guy in the wheelchair trying to make his way up the stairs, record it, and then go inside and watch it and crack up about how he’s having such a hard time trying to get up the stairs.
Meanwhile, the guy in the wheelchair is still struggling. And if you DARE say anything is inappropriate, they’ll be “triggered” and shake their heads like you don’t get it. It’s hip to laugh, don’t you see?
It doesn’t even matter if the discrimination is proven by a mountain of data, in many cases. If you say anything about doing something about it, they’re outraged that you’re infiltrating their perfect little glass hut of a world, ruining their fun with a funeral dirge.
It’s a fucked-up party in there.
5. Watch and enjoy any movie, any TV Show, or play any video game that features a member of one of the groups anti-SJWs don’t want to see on the screen.
You like the new Ghostbusters? What an SJW. You can’t wait to see the new “Ocean’s Eight” movie featuring a predominantly female cast? What an SJW. I mean, every time that a theatre includes someone from a minority group to play a part, it seems, that’s WAY too much pandering to the SJW crowd, and they’ll hate you for loving the fact that someone who looks like you or is more true-to-life to you is on the screen.
This is a fun one, though. Next time they gripe about how one of those characters is “changing cinema,” just gush like, “Isn’t it AWESOME!” and watch their brains explode.
6. Make any movie, any TV Show, or play any video game that features a member of one of the groups anti-SJWs don’t want to see on the screen.
If you give your diverse audience a diverse cast, the anti-SJWs will tell you you’re pandering because you’re not pandering to them. Because obviously, if you had your way, you’d choose…well, let’s just say, characters are the type of people who are more…acceptable to the anti-SJW crowd.
Few things make anti-SJWs more #triggered than the fear that blackness and estrogen will take over the movie industry. The horror!!!
7. Call someone a sexist or a racist for doing and saying sexist or racist things.
The truly entertaining thing about this is that anti-SJWs see it as their right to call groups of people “victims.” This whole world is a “victim culture.” If something about who you are makes you struggle through culture unfairly, and you say anything about it on behalf of yourself or people you give a shit about…you’re a “victim.”
Because — guaranteed — the moment you call their behavior sexist or racist, they blow their top. It’s like the end of the world. They’re horrified. It’s like…they’re complaining about you complaining about real, actual, documented victimhood…and the moment you call it out for what it is, they become such professional victims over words that you feel like they deserve a medal for their hypocrisy.
8. Put the words of people they criticize in context.
I know this may not sound hilarious.
Trust me. It is.
Here’s an awesome example.
TJ Kirk likes to talk about how Melissa Harris-Perry said the term “Hard Worker” was racist as a way to show how ridiculously extreme anti-SJWs are.
That’s the joke. That’s it — except, TJ Kirk goes on about the supposed ridiculousness of this 47-second clip for 11 minutes in his discussion. But yeah, he doesn’t go beyond the sound byte.
You want to make an anti-SJW so triggered they have to leave the room? Give them the context.
The context is that Paul Ryan, the former Republican Vice Presidential candidate and leading Republican representative who was infamous for making a distinction between “makers” and “takers,” was demanding some personal family time due to his role in Congress, and the conservative on Harris-Perry’s show was arguing that he deserved it because of how hard he was working.
Now coming from a Republican — and especially from Paul Ryan — that sounds a bit hypocritical to a lot of us leftists, especially when so many hard-working Americans have been deemed as “Takers” deserving family time by Republicans, and as “sucking off the system” in taking advantage of food stamps and welfare by a lot of conservatives. So by pointing out that poor people (like slaves) are hard workers, too, she was trying to show the double standard:
You may not characterize the Republican Party that way, but to a lot of us that’s a clear double standard. It’s not an argument against the words “hard worker.” It’s an argument against how Republicans tend to have a double standard as to which hard workers deserve “family time” and which ones do not; this argument would not have applied to a liberal. You may disagree with it, but she has a point, right?
And it’s not even about race here. It’s about giving our just due to hard work.
Now, that context would have made Harris-Perry’s words intelligible for anyone willing to listen. But, unfortunately, it would also “trigger” anti-SJWs.
So TJ (after a long-ass 2-minute-plus whine about how horrible the clip is) cuts her off before she gets her full explanation in, at the 47 second mark of the above video:
Another thing his above video shows is her saying, “…in the context of the Republican Party” at the beginning. She is actually stating that saying Paul Ryan deserves family time is a hypocritical argument in the context of the Republican Party…and then afterwards criticizes those remarks.
But the reader is left with the misleading impression that she is criticizing just the two words “hard worker.” That wasn’t the point. If she was talking to someone who was in a party that, in her mind, didn’t have a double standard as to what a hard worker deserved, she wouldn’t have made the statement. It wasn’t about race; it was about politics.
Here’s the thing: That video has been viewed 450,000 times. It is upvoted highly and the comments pontificate about how awful Melissa Harris-Perry is for making “hard worker” a racist term. You can’t even say that someone is a “hard worker” anymore, they say.
Hardly anyone cares to see the original context. Why? Because the video is telling them what they want to hear and they don’t want their lullaby interrupted.
9. Think any aspect of your or someone else’s life is more important than an anti-SJW leader’s mortgage or fame.
For some reason, anti-SJWs think that the “report” buttons YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter have to be avoided at all costs (unless, at times, it’s content they dislike that is getting flagged). No matter how much someone is cyberbullying you, you’re supposed to stand up like you have some guts and take it. Even if there are hundreds of thousands of insults and threats instigated towards you…don’t you dare press that “report” button, or you’re a coward.
But once you flag a video for what seems, to you, a legitimate reason — you’re ruining their right to bully you, you’re potentially affecting their paychecks, you’re “silencing” them. Nevermind the studies that say cyberbullying can do serious long-term damage. If you’re being cyberbullied, you and your feelings are the problem. If you have a problem with it, you’re the one who has to get off the Internet and hide.
The irony, of course, is that if a site like YouTube decided not to monetize a bullying video because you flagged it — not even take it off their site, just decide not to support it with their money — the anti-SJW tears put all the rest to shame.
10. Look the world in the face as if you have a right to be treated with respect.
If you decide to actually be confident and start being honest about the way you’re being treated in this country, or the way someone else you care about is being treated badly in this country, and do so in a way that assumes you have a right to equality, you’ll be silenced.
You’re allowed to exist. You just have to be a dormant welcome mat for anti-SJWs, if you want to keep them happy. Tell them nice things.
Because their feelings are so fragile that you have to toughen up for them as if you don’t have any.
No matter what your life experiences or the data shows, anti-SJWs have life SO much worse than you, apparently.
State that maybe they aren’t the most struggling people in society — that maybe, even if they are poor, their skin tone gives them an advantage over other poor people — and they’ll go crazy.
….Man. Was that ten already? I didn’t even get to talk about the other triggers, like saying that racial discrimination is a thing that matters, or saying anything nice about Anita Sarkeesian (really. anything. Try it; it’s fun), or ruining their trolling parties on your FB page with a block, or stating that women have it harder than men, or not laughing at their steady stream of rape jokes (for shits and giggles, try being a rape victim and actually having the nerve to ask them to stop!), or saying you’re a feminist, or arguing that the shooting of any black person was unjust, or saying “Black Lives Matter,” or messing with the gender binary by wearing what you want to wear (there’s this awesome video on being a gender confusion that I nearly feared, based on the responses, would drive the anti-SJWs mad), or refusing to get involved in their feuds and internet drama, or being honest about not liking something because it seemed racist or misogynistic…
I’m sorry. We’ll be here all day.
Are you not an SJW yet? Don’t worry. They’ll get to you. One day you may care about someone who is honestly and clearly having a difficult time in life, they’ll see your sympathy, and they’ll slap the label on you. And every time you make a peep, they’ll be beside themselves with rage, thoroughly triggered.
And then — here’s the kicker — they’ll misinterpret it as thinking you are.
But we’ve dealt with anti-SJWs ever since there was a desire for social justice. It’s just more of the same.
Sometimes, you gotta just sit back and have a laugh at it all, though.
Thanks for reading.
P.S. I have a Patreon, if you want to help me keep doing what I’m doing.