What if someone told you that you were unworthy of romantic love, but instead, God and the Church could provide all the love you need? You’d probably say that was ridiculous. Yet, there are at least four groups of people to whom the church is saying exactly that. For Singles Awareness Day, I want to focus on these groups, upon whom many in the Church want to impose singleness. 1. LGBTQ Folks The first group are LGBTQ folks. Recently,... Read more
Long-distance romances pose a unique challenge. Here’s how to make it work—and how faith can help your long-distance relationship thrive. Take it from me—I know how amazing and how challenging, long-distance relationships (LDRs) can be. When we were dating, my wife and I started out with 3,000 miles and a national border between us. Even after we were legally married, we spent a year and a half with COVID restrictions and immigration issues keeping us apart for long periods of... Read more
Sometimes, I slit my own wrist to give someone else a transfusion. I even offer my neck to vampires to be nourished by my life’s blood. The problem is that I only have a limited supply. You too might be hurting yourself to help others. So, don’t feed the vampires. We’ve all heard the oxygen mask analogy so many times that it’s gotten old and tired. “I know, I know,” my clients tell me when I counsel them. They say,... Read more
“An inmate told me he had spirits,” said the prison chaplain. “And he wanted to know what I could do about it.” As we discussed the difference between mental illness and demonic influence, I was wishing that you could be a fly on the wall. Read on as we talk about the difference between mental illness and demonic possession. Set Free from What? As a behavioral health specialist and former pastor/chaplain, I share my chaplain friend’s interest in seeing people... Read more
Recently, someone remarked about the wonderful quality of a friend: “He’s always the same person, no matter who he’s with.” I had to be a party pooper and say, “I doubt very seriously that he’s the same with everyone. Maybe he only lets people see one side of him, but he definitely has a lot of different parts of his personality. And I’ll bet he shows different aspects of himself when he’s with other people.” Different Parts, Depending on the Relationship For... Read more
In some church contexts, thinking of “church family” is a beautiful thing. In others, it’s dysfunctional and even abusive. The Family of God I grew up with the old Gaither song that goes: You will notice we say ‘brother and sister’ ’round here- It’s because we’re a family and these folks are so near; When one has a heartache we all share the tears, And rejoice in each victory In this family so dear I’m so glad I’m a... Read more
“I want to rape my mother!” said my client in the text message that I opened first thing Monday morning. No case manager wants this as their first job assignment, at the beginning of a work week. The Crisis Line This particular young man has a history of saying shocking things, but actually doing none of them. Still, it’s my job to help ensure that his words don’t become actions. So, the first thing I did on that Monday morning... Read more
Most drivers have watched a squirrel run in front of them, notice the car, and try to figure out which way to run. They dart back and forth, spastically changing directions in their indecision. “Go, little squirrel!” you shout when you see their indecision. You root for them to pick a direction before your tire squishes them to jelly. Sometimes all of our minds can function like that. Squirrel Brain According to National Today, National Squirrel Appreciation Day was originally... Read more
Pastors: Jesus told you to go the extra mile, not run the extra marathon. Sure, Paul uses the analogy of running the race set before us. But he never expected us to be like an athlete who dies in the prime of their life because they pushed themselves too hard. When Above and Beyond Means Over-the-Top Good pastors know how to take care of the members of their congregations. But they also know how to take care of themselves. They... Read more
By recognizing and respecting unknown gods, Abraham and Paul give Christians examples of how to honor other religious traditions. Two Perspectives on World Religions Conservative Christianity generally regards itself as the only legitimate faith. Where does this limited perspective come from? In this article, we’ll examine conservative, exclusive views. In honor of World Religions Day (January 15), we’ll also look at a more accepting perspective. Conservative vs. Inclusive Approaches in the Hebrew Scriptures In the Hebrew Scriptures, Moses represents... Read more
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