Talking Turkey

Are you hosting Thanksgiving this year or traveling with kids?  Either way, life is complicated!  Around the holidays I always think about my mom, okay, that makes it sound like she’s dead, which she is not, just in Bermuda, which is like heaven, but anyway, can you tell I have had too much coffee this week?

I think about my mom during the holidays because she is a terrific hostess, she manages to put out a wonderful, elegant meal while staying calm and gracious.  Her home and holidays are what most would call formal, but they are never stuffy, everyone is perfectly at their ease.  I give her a lot of credit, and I am inspired by her.

One of my mom’s taglines, from when she had 3-under-2, is “you gotta do what you gotta do!”  Seriously, if that meant that some of the sides were secretly store bought or the dishes did not get done until Friday, so be it.  My mom doesn’t do guilt and she doesn’t do competition, she operates on the assumption that what she has to give is good enough, and the amazing thing is that she is almost always right.

My temperament is very different from my mothers, I tend towards competition, perfectionism and vanity, especially with regard to entertaining, but what I want most of all is for everyone to be as welcome and happy at home as we were growing up.  So, this thanksgiving, here is what I “gotta do.”

With 7 children under 9 attending my thanksgiving this year, I am using my everyday china.  It is attractive enough, and I will be much  more relaxed, which will put everyone else at ease.  To make this work, I have created a casual table scape by letting the kids pile gourds, fruit and nuts all down the center of the table, interspersed with candles and the kids pine cone turkeys.  Now, the casual looks like it is by design.

I am using gravy packets.  I will make some of my own gravy from the bird, but I will supplement with McCormick.  Honestly, you can’t taste the difference once it is all mixed in there, and this way you can have enough gravy to put a gravy boat at both ends of the table.  While I stir the gravy, I will be glad that I have so many wonderful people in my life to serve this day.

I am letting my mother in law bring the sweet potatoes, and they are not my grandmother’s sweet potatoes, and I am not making more sweet potatoes.  What she makes will be delicious, and my kids (and husband) will just have to live without the marshmallows.  I have promised sweet potatoes with marshmallows at a later date.

I am making brussel sprouts, because I love them, even if I might be the only one who eats them.

I am making a cheesy project where on each placecard there will be a question having to do with gratitude.  (What invention are you most grateful for, what change are you most grateful for this year, what food are you most grateful for, etc).  This will keep the conversation flowing and put us all in a grateful frame of mind.

Lastly, I am letting my kids watch TV for most of the day today.  It’s just what I “gotta do.”

Friends, today, and throughout this busy time coming up, take a cue from my mom, and give yourself permission to do what you gotta do so that you and your family will have a happy and healthy holiday season.