Off to school.

“All parents, whether their kids learn at home or in a classroom, should lean hard on God’s grace. Because though our details might differ, God calls every one of us to sacrificial love through our family lives. And that’s not likely to come easy to any of us.”  –Danielle Bean

I so appreciate these words from Danielle.  She especially speaks to my heart this week.  Like many of you, I’ve wrestled with the possibility of homeschooling my young brood.  I have my Masters in Teaching, for crying out loud, so it’s funny that the subject is even an issue.  Yet it is.

So you may be surprised to know on Tuesday we sent my oldest off to kindergarten.  That day he began a schooling journey many of us have before and one that will continue for thirteen plus years (wow!)  Boy, did that day bring back memories for me.  And subsequently caused me to shake in my boots, wondering if we had really made the right decision sending him to school rather than teaching him at home.  We may have to wait until heaven to know the answer to that one.

But I do know one thing, I’m clinging to God’s grace this week as much as I would be if I were homeschooling.  The week has actually been rather draining, even with one less child.  Why?  Because I’m a mother and mothering takes work.  The sacrificial love never ends.  Depending on how you look at it, I’ve just sent my most responsible, most capable child off packing, leaving me with the three most needy ones back home!!  ha!  God did bless our time together immensely, though.  I had more time to devote to each child.  I saw a relationship forming between my middle boys that was stronger and more personal than before.  My second child, more sweet and passive by nature, was able to be a leader and help conduct play.  His overall obedience and compliance seemed to be much improved as a result.  Affirmation.

As my older son returned from school each day, I also noticed subtle improvements in his behavior.  He’s a little more considerate of his brothers and friends, a little more humbled by the world outside our front door, a little more refined than the boy I saw at the beginning of the week.  Affirmation once more.

Will this decision always be right?  Not necessarily.  In fact, tonight at dinner, he commented to me, “Mom, I want to stay home for college, okay?  I don’t think I want to go to Notre Dame.  It’s too far away.”  (lol–to his father’s chagrin!)  But for now this is where we are and at this point, God’s grace has never been more apparent… or more necessary.