“Marriage is like planning a trip to Hawaii…”

As I was driving in the car one night, listening to the radio, I heard Chuck Swindoll giving a talk on marriage. He made a great analogy that I thought I would share with you today: “Marriage is Like Planning a Trip to Hawaii.”

Imagine that you are planning a trip to Hawaii. You have all of your suitcases packed full of funny-looking Hawaiian shirts, flip-flops, sunscreen, and big hats. You step onto the plane and you are in a great mood – you’re going to Hawaii, after all! You imagine the sunshine, the birds singing, the fresh pineapple, and the beautiful beachside villa that will be your home for the vacation.

Suddenly, the plane veers off course and instead of landing in Hawaii, you have landed in the Swiss Alps. The weather is snowy and cold, and instead of staying in a beachside villa, your accommodations will be be a small, drafty chalet. You have no clothes for the Alps, not to mention shoes, and you are standing in the snow, shivering.

You now have a choice to make: You can either decide to go on with your vacation as if you were in Hawaii, walking around in your flip-flops and crazy Hawaiian shirts, or you can change course. You can decide to buy heavier clothes and appropriate shoes, and you can even fix up that drafty old chalet so that it becomes quite a lovely home. If you make the latter choice, you might find that your vacation, while unexpected, has become quite a wonderful adventure. Your time in the Swiss Alps will be even more amazing than you could have ever imagined your trip to Hawaii would be, if you choose to adapt.

Marriage is like planning a trip to Hawaii and ending up in the Swiss Alps (or vice versa!). The Swiss Alps are lovely, but they are very different from Hawaii. There are many unexpected conditions and events in a marriage, and if we stick to our initial expectations, we will be sorely disappointed and uncomfortable. However, if we are able to adapt and change our plans, marriage can become a beautiful adventure.

Perhaps this Lent would be a good time for us, who have been blessed with the particular vocation of marriage to our spouse, to reflect on the areas in which we might make some personal changes. The three pillars of Lent – fasting, prayer, and acts of service – might be a helpful guide in this exercise. I’m going to ask Our Lord to open my heart to the changes that I might make in my life, so that I may more fully engage in my relationship with my husband – will you join me this Lent?