Divorce Boom? Don’t Do It

A few weeks ago, I heard a quote I didn’t like. I didn’t like it because I was afraid it might be true. Too true. The quote went something like this (I am paraphrasing):

“After World War II, we had the baby boom. After COVID-19, we will see a divorce boom.”

See what I mean? Don’t. Like. It.

Then yesterday, I read this quote from a very startling article entitled “People Are Getting Busted for Affairs in Coronavirus Lockdown“:

“But once those restrictions are lifted and the pandemic ends, every lawyer who spoke with VICE News said they anticipate a boom in divorces. They don’t expect couples to go from happily married to arguing over alimony in the span of a few weeks, no matter how much time they may be forced to spend together, but relationships that were already on the rocks may end.”

There it was, in writing: “boom in divorces.”

Let me tell you what struck me most about the article.

Survival then divorce were the only options. 

On the one hand, once a spouse realizes he/she doesn’t want to be married anymore, they choose to just survive until the COVID-19 lockdown is over. On the other, the thinking is once this is all over divorce is the only option.

But is that true? 

Are these the only options? Survive and divorce?

I don’t think so.

What if the Father has you “sheltered in place” to expose all the secrets so there are no more?

What if this season is a gift to your marriage? A hard gift, but a gift that was desperately needed?

What if you looked, not to a lawyer, but to the Living Christ to redeem you? your spouse? your marriage? your family?

What if you decided not to take the easy way out, but instead leaned into the hard (heart!) work and became a trophy of God’s transformation?

What if, before you went to a lawyer after lockdown, you scheduled time with a therapist?

What if you chose not to listen to or follow the expectation of the culture? What would it look like for you to live under the rule of a Loving Lord as King?

What if you chose to pray, recognizing you can’t fix your spouse, your family, your situation, even yourself – and surrendered it over to Him?

What if by the time Christmas rolls around you are able to share how the Jesus of the impossible actually did the impossible?

Please hear me and hear me good: I am NOT saying any of this is easy and you should just “get over” something that has horrifically hurt you. No. No. No. I am NOT saying that at all. This is not a plea for you or your spouse to just “brush things under the rug” and pretend they never happened.  This is also not a plea from me saying, “Come on now! Get over it! Move on! It’s going to be okay!” Not saying that, either. My plea is simple:

Don’t assume that surviving lockdown and running to get a divorce the moment the courts open back up are your only options. 

They aren’t. I can’t promise you everything will get better. I can’t wave pixie dust and make it all go away. But looking at and pursuing other options are available. They’re at least worth a shot. God is not surprised by what you are experiencing. Lean into it. Lean into Him. There’s nothing He cannot redeem.

Need help? Email me at: mpearson@westfranklinchurch.com.