The covenant of marriage is a beautiful gift Christians shouldn’t take lightly. First established in Genesis, the ritual of couples joining in marriage is present throughout the Old and New Testaments. If you’re considering marriage, here are five things to think about before you plan the ceremony.
1. Your Partner May Have Different Beliefs
Romans 10:17 — “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”
Even if you’ve found a Christian partner, you might find that your principles and values vary. God gave everyone the free will to believe what they choose about church, holidays and discipline.
It’s essential to take the time to learn your partner’s beliefs and explain your own. Determine whether these beliefs are compatible with each other and how you will navigate the differences as obstacles occur in your relationship.
While many couples can navigate having different beliefs, it can create obstacles. Consider how they will affect your decisions about worship, quality time and children.
2. You’re Making a Huge Commitment
Mark 10:9 — “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Marriage is a significant commitment to your beloved and you need to make sure you are mentally and spiritually ready to take it on. Getting married means making a covenant before God that you will love and cherish your partner for the rest of your life. You shouldn’t take that lightly.
Never stay in an abusive relationship, as that is against Jesus’ teachings. Take your time to get to know your partner before you marry to give you the best chance at success.
The good news is keeping that commitment is easier than most media sources portray. Today it’s believed that 70% of couples stay married — contrasting with the 50% divorce rate myth — so just around 30% will divorce.
3. Resolving Conflict Is a Necessary Part
1 Corinthians 16:14 — “Let all that you do be done in love.”
To be one of the 70% of couples who stay married, you’ll need to know how to resolve conflict. Every couple argues from time to time — it’s normal whenever two individuals are together, no matter how much you love each other. The important thing is to know how you will resolve the conflicts that arise.
People have different styles of arguing and if you don’t know your partners, it could create a negative reaction in you. Argument styles can develop from childhood and by learning how each other reacts to their frustrations, you can de-escalate an argument and have a conversation. It might take time to get it right, but by working together, you can learn how to resolve your conflicts in a positive way.
4. Whether You Want Children Can Make or Break a Marriage
Matthew 19:14 — “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’ ”
Speaking of children, you should ensure both of you are on the same page regarding them before you say your vows. The desire to or to not become a parent — dedicated to guiding them in the ways of the Lord and nurturing their every need — is arguably a larger commitment than the marriage itself. You can get divorced, but your child is yours forever.
It’s OK not to have them, but you need to know upfront what your partner wants. Don’t get married assuming they’ll change their mind one day.
5. No One is Perfect, But the Right Person is Worth It
Genesis 2:18 — “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Marriage is serious and there will be conflicts and challenges within your commitment. It’s also a wonderful covenant of God’s love shared on Earth, making you lovers, partners and companions with whom to share your lives. When you’re in a healthy marriage, you’re never alone.
Before you leap, pray and discern whether or not your partner is the one God wants you to be with. Once you feel you’re meant to share that commitment, ask the Lord to bless the marriage and work together to create a loving home that never takes His blessings for granted.
Navigating the Gift of Marriage
There is so much to look forward to when committing to marriage. With the proper time, conversations and discernment, you and your partner can start on the road to success.
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