Cinderella married the prince. So did Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty. They had some ups and downs on the way, but they finally had what they dreamed about. However, some of us seem to have more downs than ups, with some blurred vision on the way; we may have to manipulate a bit until we find our best fit.
A Bit of Specific Dreaming
My dream was to marry at 19 and have seven children. Marriage and motherhood were always the first desire of my heart. But I wasn’t Cinderella, and there was no glass slipper in my future. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 41. In the meantime, I kept busy with teaching, travel, and humaniarian work. No wicked stepsisters or messy chores—not a bit.
Then I met my husband, and I was blessed with a wedding I had wondered if I would ever have. We have been working together to establish a marriage based on faith in Jesus Christ—better than any palace and servants. Our two small children are miracle-blessings from God. Nothing could approach this joy.
Bits of Uncertainty
For me, motherhood has been a soul-stretching and fulfilling role. But a bit of uncertainty has crept in. I have felt continually drawn to teaching and building disciple-learners at Brigham Young University Idaho. Sometimes the two roles have felt like a tug of war on my heart strings, and I’ve wondered how to balance it all.
One war-tugging side reminded me that many women need to work outside the home for a variety of life circumstances. Being home with children is not always a possibility or even the best choice for some families.
When I am feeling even a bit of uncertainty, I must constantly check in with the lord—asking if I am doing his will. My greatest desire is to “live by every word which proceedeth forth out of the mouth of God” (D & C 98:11). People are guided to learn God’s will in ways that are best for them.
The second side in the tug of war pulled with its weight as I was teaching a course on the presidents of the Church. I was preparing a lesson on the ministry of Ezra Taft Benson and reviewing his focus on motherhood. He had addressed the men of the Church:
I continue to emphasize the importance of mothers staying home to nurture, care for, and train their children in the principles of righteousness.”1
More Pulls and Conflicts
The tug of war tightened. Suddenly I was feeling a deep desire to be home with my children but also a call to be in the classroom.
And again a bit of uncertainty was joining the tug. At the time He delivered this address, Elder Benson was not the living prophet. In fact, he had taught that the most important prophet must be the living prophet. So I must be an exception to Elder Benson’s pre-prophet words.
I thought of more time with my children: participating in outings and activities, being more engaged in their sports preparation and competition, trading stories which included memories of family events and traditions. I also thought of precious times with my students—empathizing with their stuggles, questions, needs, and fears; working with them to find answers.
A Bit of Manipulation—A Better Fit
The following day, I had a feeling to frame our study of President Benson within the context of his 1989 general conference talk “Beware of Pride.” (You can review this profound address at this link.) Moments after I began the class discussion, the Spirit whispered, “You are not an exception.” I seemed to reach a new level of distraction as I worked to discern the spiritual promptings while focusing on my students.
Once the class finished, I returned to the tug of war, reviewing my employment contract and considering my options. BYU-Idaho teaches three semesters of 14 weeks. I have the option to renegotiate a 3/4 contract that allows me to stay home with my children during the summer when they are out of school. Good strong pull!
The other side of the rope still tugs a bit. That manipulation of schedule includes a lower salary, a somewhat frightening choice in our current economy. But considering what I want my children to know about my priorities and focus had winning power.
The Lord wanted me to make my own decision, but He has given me the support and guidance—and the conflicts—I have needed to get to that choice.
Sister Tracy Y. Browning, of the Primary General Presidency, compared her guided vision from the Savior to her daily use of badly needed glasses.
Over the years, I’ve come to recognize that this behavior illustrates my daily dependence on two things: first, a tool that helps me to clarify, focus, and ground the world around me; and second, a need for tangible guidance to continually point me in the right direction.2
I have experienced both forms of divine direction. I am grateful for the guidance—and even for the tug of war—that brought me there.
Photo: U.S. Navy/ Wikipedia Commons Public Domain
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