Plan A was the plan my mom put her entire godly faith in, plan B was never really discussed- except one time. She laid on the couch fighting advanced breast cancer that had morphed into bone cancer when my mom talked about plan B. We talked about many things- she was also my friend.
I asked my mom if God choose not to heal her and when she got to heaven, to please tell our son how much we love and miss him, and we can’t wait to see him again. My mom said she would be waiting for me and our family at the river that runs through the Holy City that flows from the throne of God (Revelation 21:10, 22:1-2).
Plan B was God’s plan for my mom. She was too young to leave us at barely 61. I don’t understand why God chose to take our son or my mom too early in life. I don’t try to understand anymore. We will never fully grasp God’s ways in this life because God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are our ways His ways, says the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His ways higher than our ways and His thoughts than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). We must trust that He knows what’s best.
Letting go of our demands to know “Why?” and giving up the feelings of having been robbed of our loved ones requires grace and complete faith and trust. Grace gives us the ability to do what we are unable to do in our own strength. And trust says I don’t demand to know “why” because God does. God gave me grace and strengthened my faith to live at peace with His sovereign plans. After all, we all belong to God first before we belong to someone else.
I lived out of state at the time and was flying back home when my mom walked into heaven. God knew I would be heartbroken, so He sent His comforter ahead of me. He patiently waited for me to enter my parent’s bedroom where mom died only three hours earlier. I prepared myself for an emotional meltdown. Instead, when I walked in my mom’s room, I was overcome by a tangible feeling. It was like someone was gently holding me and at the same time, a peace like I had never experienced before overtook my mind and calmed my entire body.
I was completely and utterly overwhelmed by the love of God physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.
God cares about our grief (Matthew 5:4). Jesus demonstrated this as He shed tears along with Mary and Martha at the tomb of Lazarus. God has feelings just like we do- after all, we are made in His image. He sends His Holy Spirit to comfort us (John 14:26). He loves us beyond anything we can comprehend in this life. We simply don’t have the ability to see the whole picture in this life, but one day- it will be unveiled and we will see and understand every mystery (I Corinthians 13:12).
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13
In the meantime, we must hold on to our hope in Christ. We must trust God completely and believe He is working on our behalf, even when He chooses to bring home those whose lives, we believe, ended way too soon.
Be encouraged, there is so much to look ahead to, But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14
If God chooses plan B in your circumstances, how will you respond to Him?