Just Give Me a Sign

I stood in the deepening dark of the night. The moon was nowhere to be seen. A thousand stars – maybe more, blinked in chaotic poetry.

I had to absorb the news of the day – of a lifetime. Swirling in my head, there were no answers. Just questions. That awful question. Why?

I needed clear guidance, and not finely parsed words. I didn’t want nuance, or philosophy. I wasn’t interested in theology. I’ve sat through a thousand sermons and know what the the thick Book teaches. I have heard the sage advice of the elders. The counselor’s word seemed sound, but still were hollow. The words of authors bounced like penny’s on the pavement.

All of that was good. But really, at that moment, I just needed a sign.

A burning bush would have been brilliant. A spaceship with a laser beam would have been spectacular. A distant rumble. I would have even settled for a shooting star. God, just give me a sign.

I sat on the dusty ground. There are tears. Not the manly kind that glisten in the eye but the kind that cannot be brushed away without being replaced by another, and then another, coming from reservoirs rarely tapped.

Am I alone here?

Lasers (Photo credit: dmuth)The sign never came, and yet I eventually found the answers through strife and turmoil, prayer and supplication, doubt and fear.

And today, the questions are different, and yet the same. My heart still hurts for family members who wander. And what can I say about the friends who have turned away, their fingers still pointing at the gaping hole in my facade?

My soul aches for the uncertain future my childen must face. The evil in the world is running rampant, and I just don’t have the answers.

I know it’s a sign a weakness, even a sign of an evil generation. But I must admit, that there are times, when I lift my head and cry out.

Give us a sign.