Turn on the TV, turn to the back pages of a newspaper, or peruse the best-seller lists, and you’re almost certain to come across one of those angels in human form, the psychics. Every day they display their powers to the wonder of believers and the astonishment of skeptics, presciently predicting startling information such as, “The body will be found near water”, or “I see the letter ‘R’ in connection with you.”
Though these incredible insights revolutionize the lives of many, it is undeniable that psychics could do even more good if they could reach a wider audience, and one certain way to do that would be to prove, in a striking and indisputable way, that their powers are for real. In light of this, I hope it will not be seen as impertinent to once again raise an oft-asked question: why don’t psychics prove that their abilities work by picking the winning lottery numbers? In light of the vast pool of psychic talent our species has to draw upon, surely the selection of a scant few digits should not prove over-troubling for at least some of our modern-day savants.
Alas, it seems there is a barrier to doing so – how cruel are the slings and arrows of capricious fate! Though these noble and enlightened souls would like nothing better than to provide convincing evidence of their wondrous gift, they are lamentably unable to do so, due to a strict rule that they may not use their abilities for personal gain. (Charging money, often a great deal of money, for psychic readings does not seem to count. How strange are the whims of fate!) Here are just a few psychics who have informed us of this ironclad rule:
Because, the psychic beings that reside in every living atom will not speak for personal gain, only for the helping of others or for giving someone a vague idea of their future.
A true psychic believes their gifts are from God. They believe using their gifts to profit is morally wrong.
Any valid psychic is not psychic about themselves, leaving room for mistakes, lessons and personal evolvement. In no way can she use her psychic ability to directly benefit herself without helping another in turn. It is a G-d given gift, that has it’s own rewards and difficulties. If psychics could use their ability for personal gain alone, it is possible that they could turn in a winning lottery ticket, retire, and never use their gift to help another human being. The inability to predict their own outcomes is designed in order to keep them focused on helping others.
Well, despair not, O psychics! Though I am but a poor, benighted skeptic, trapped in my linear, materialistic, Western ways of thinking, I just may have come up with an idea that has somehow, how I do not know, evaded your great insight. I know how you can prove your mighty powers without violating the stricture on personal gain.
It is undeniable that there is a great deal of need in this darkened world. All around the planet, there are people who are hungry, who are homeless, who suffer from treatable diseases, who are displaced by the ravages of war. Likewise, there are a great number of charitable organizations working to ameliorate these evils, but few, if any, have all the resources they need to complete their mission. A large gift to any of these would be a windfall and could surely be used to accomplish much good.
Here is my proposal to psychics. Pick any charity – whichever one your third eye, sixth sense, spirit guide, star charts, dream journal, remote viewing, dowsing rod, tea leaves, aura-reading, chi, Tarot cards, or Atlantean crystal (as applicable) tells you is most worthy. Then visit a lawyer and hire them to draft, in suitable legal terminology, a contract similar to the following:
“I, (insert name here), do hereby pledge that upon winning the lottery on (insert date of drawing), I will donate 100% of my after-tax winnings to (insert name of chosen charity).”
Then have your lawyer or some other suitable public official witness you signing it, and contact the charity to inform that you have done so and send them a notarized copy. You’re now free and clear! Having signed a binding and legally enforceable pledge that you will give your winnings away, you are no longer participating in the lottery for personal gain, but rather for the helping of others. There should now be no obstacle to you using your marvelous powers to divine the winning numbers.
I anticipate a worldwide flowering of charitable donations and compassionate works to occur shortly as the result of this proposal. I ask for no praise or reward in return, merely a modest acknowledgement that I first proposed the idea. The psychics, after all, would be the ones doing all the work, and it would be wrong to take away from their justly deserved glory.