Create Space For A Contemplative Christmas

Contemplative Holiday Preparation

There are ways that we can create space for a contemplative Christmas.  Even in a hurried holiday season, we can be attentive to our soul.  When you think about the coming of Advent and Christmas, how do you prepare the space?  We might first think about the garland and ornaments, but there is also the space of your inner life.  Are there rituals that you engage in because they feel meaningful and authentic?  Are there traditions that you perpetuate out of obligation or the desire to meet expectations?

So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the child lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known what had been told them about this child; and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them, but Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart.  Luke 2:16-19

In scripture, we see examples of how the nativity witnesses processed and carried their experiences.  Mary takes time to be with family.  Joseph takes time to reflect on his dreams.  The Magi take time go on a journey.  We can jump from scene to scene in these stories in the same way that we hurry from activity to activity at Christmas.

What if we hold the space between the scenes, in the way that the nativity witnesses do?  One opportunity is to reserve time for prayer and reflection.  We can schedule time for our soul, just like we schedule parties and dinners.  Another possibility is to take time to discern our true longing.  Are we holding back tears?  Are we forcing joy and gratitude?  Is there space to allow the heart to speak?

1. How would Christmas be different if we included more space to slow down, pray, and reflect? 
2. If you were to relinquish one tradition or expectation for the season to feel more spacious, what would it be?
3. During the holiday season, what is it that your heart is truly longing for?

Authenticity, Expectations, and Lament

One way that I’m seeking to create space is through a church service.  At my parish, I’m hosting a service called “Rachel’s Tears: A Liturgy of Lament, Healing, and Hope”.  This service is for those who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, abortion, or infertility.  As someone who has experienced miscarriages, I need space for prayer and reflection with my community.  I don’t think I’m alone in this longing, and it feels meaningful at Christmas.  It defies expectations to voice lament in a season that’s supposed to be joyful.  It also opens up opportunities to listen for what is authentic.  This is just one way that I am trying to create space for a contemplative Christmas.  To learn more about this type of service, check out the liturgies for lament in “Enriching Our Worship“.

This hope for a more spacious season stands in contrast to a prescribed holiday experience, and I’m reminded of Hallmark Christmas movies.  These films have an emphasis on meaningful relationships and traditions, but they are also projections of what the “perfect” Christmas could be.  No wonder they feel so cathartic, when the main characters experience so much meaning that it liberates them (from jobs, fiancés, the city, etc).  We want to feel liberated too.

We probably won’t find freedom in a controlled and prescribed Christmas, but we might find some freedom in a more authentic Christmas, a more spacious Christmas.

What We Hold Space For and What We Relinquish

Nurturing our inner life can require us to let go of the outer life we are projecting.  Maybe this means admitting that buying gifts leaves you no financial breathing room for the rest of the year.  Maybe it means weeping with your faith community over the loss of a child.  It could even mean leaving a stressful party so that you can read a book, walk a labyrinth, or watch a Hallmark movie.

I wonder if there is something rising up to your attention to be nurtured, or to create space around, or to relinquish.

In the spirit of creating a contemplative Christmas, may we all listen for what is authentic despite what is expected or prescribed.  May we give ourselves the gift of space to ponder all of these things in our hearts, as Mary did.  May we take the time to hear our heart’s true longing, and remember that we are not alone.

For more invitations into contemplative living, check out my chapter entitled “Listening for the Holy” published in Soul Food: Nourishing Essays on Contemplative Living and Leadership.