In April’s conference, President D. Todd Christofferson said:
When we consider the character of the Savior, we tend to focus immediately on His attributes, such as virtue, integrity, humility, compassion, and courage, but we should also consider, What is it in Jesus that gives rise to such character traits? I believe they are the natural fruit of the thoughts, desires, and intents of His heart. Christlike character grows out of a Christlike heart. Thus, if we are to succeed in developing a Christlike character, we must possess His motivations—His thoughts, desires, and intents of the heart.
That sounds like a lot. When I was a child, I frequently felt overwhelmed at church. Like Nephi of old, I was born of goodly parents who did all in their power to raise their eleven children in love and righteousness.
Again, like Nephi, I had a couple of older siblings who tormented and abused the younger kids when our parents were not around to protect us. So when I went to church and heard songs like “Home Can Be a Heaven on Earth” and “Love at Home,” I felt like my life was a lie.
When stories were told about faithful children who made sacrifices for their family or chose to be obedient in the face of overwhelming challenges, I felt hopeless. There was no way that I could do those things. I was too busy trying to survive the abuse and stay out of the way.
Some of that abuse left me feeling unworthy to even be at church. I wasn’t clean. I wasn’t holy. I was trying to be like Jesus, but how could I ever do that?
So when we talk about developing a Christlike character, I get that that may seem to some to be a little out of reach in the present moment. And that’s ok.
President Christofferson goes on to say:
For us, it will require what the scriptures call a mighty change of heart.
No matter what our present circumstances are or where we are on the covenant path, or how far off of that path we may have strayed, or even if we have no idea that such a path exists, this concept applies to all of us. And we are ALL able to achieve this goal in our own time and in our own ways. We CAN be like Jesus. As we learn more about Him and trust in His promises, He will give us a new heart and heal all of our wounds, no matter how long those scars have been there.
Forgiveness—a Character of Christ
In the last couple of years, I’ve been given the opportunity to learn more than I ever wanted to about one aspect of the character of Jesus Christ—forgiveness. Twice in that time, I’ve had people that I loved and trusted betray that trust and hurt me deeply.
Forgiving 1.0
The first time, I felt bitter and let the world know that I had been wronged. I sought justice. I’d been treated badly, and I wanted vengeance.
One of the MANY unexpected blessings of this time in my life was that I was able to spend more time in the temple. It took many months, but eventually I was humbled enough to ask God to take that bitterness out of my heart. Without getting any justice or even an apology of any sort, I was gradually able to let go of the hurt with the help of Jesus Christ.
The increased time in the temple has blessed my family and me in ways that I never could have imagined. I now see that tragic event as one of the best things that could have happened to me.
Doctrine and Covenants 98:3 reads:
All things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord.
Jesus Christ can not only heal our hearts, He can change our hearts to become more like His as we strive to draw closer to Him and have a real desire to become even as He is.
Forgiving 2.0
The second opportunity to learn forgiveness was an even greater challenge for me as it threatened what I hold most dear—my family.
I know that the Lord prepared me for this by providing me with the first opportunity to forgive. I know that the time spent in the temple that first year allowed me to not only survive the second thing, but to be given the knowledge from the very start that if I surrendered my will and sought the Lord’s instead, I would witness a miracle.
The anguish and heartache I felt were softened bit by bit by the assurance that God was in control and I just needed to hang on and watch Him do His work.
For many weeks, I tried to understand the motivations of the person who hurt us. I thought that if I could just understand how this unthinkable thing could happen, I could then forgive and move on. I cried and prayed and studied and had priesthood blessings and spent much time in the temple, and still, I just could not understand why and how this person could have done this horrible thing.
And that’s when the miracle happened! Just when I was beginning to think that I’d never be able to completely forgive, I was given the personal revelation that I would never understand, and that that was ok. I just needed to move forward, and with Heaven’s help, I was able to.
When the Lord says He remembers our sins no more, He is showing us a very important step in the forgiveness process. Once I finally understood that, I was able to move forward without a need to understand the how and why.
Becoming More Like Jesus Christ
Speaking of charity, “the pure love of Christ,” President Christofferson said,
The love of Christ yields character traits such as compassion, patience, a willingness to correct when moved upon by the Holy Ghost, and certainly a willingness to forgive.
The Relief Society had a “tea” party on Thursday. I thought that was an odd activity until I learned that it was about humility, fidelity, honesty, purity, integrity, charity—all aspects of the character of Jesus Christ that we can foster in our own lives.
So how do we become more like Jesus Christ? How do we cultivate a heart like His, a character like His, a love like His? First, we have to get to know Him.
I suggest hanging out at His house.
You can tell a lot about a person by hanging out at their house.
If you wanted to get to know me, you could come over to my house. As you walk up, you might notice the snarky welcome mat suggesting that we appreciate people texting before dropping by.
As you walk in, you see a home office that’s kind of pink and frilly and has real estate signs leaning against one wall. Maybe you notice that we still have actual books—Russian books, and church history books, and very old children’s books. What might you learn from that?
You might notice the artwork in my home—originals done by friends and family, and a lot of pictures of Jesus.
You might see family and friends who hang out at my place. Teenagers or young adults vibing, looking at their phones, or playing Jackbox or Cataan. No one is wearing shoes.
There’s nice music playing, and it smells like freshly baked sourdough bread.
There are 14 pairs of reading glasses scattered throughout the house.
Through the kitchen window, you can see my awesome vegetable garden.
You haven’t seen ME yet, but look how much you know about me just from walking in!
What Does the House of the Lord Teach You about Jesus Christ?
The House of the Lord tells you SO MUCH about Jesus Christ. And the more you hang out there, the more you learn about Him. And the more you learn about Him, the more you want to be like Him because he’s the coolest friend that any of us can ever have. He is literally the perfect friend.
How lucky are we that His house is right here? You can walk over there after church today if you want to. You can appreciate the garden that He planted for you. You can sit on the bench that He put there for you in case you get tired or just want to sit and visit with Him for a while. You can look at the intricately decorated windows and notice how absolutely perfectly symmetrical every aspect of His house is. You can walk with Him, talk with Him, and thank him for inviting you.
If you have a temple recommend, you can go inside His house on Tuesdays-Saturdays.
You can admire His artwork and furnishings and appreciate how perfectly clean He keeps His house so that you’ll always be comfortable there. He’ll give you opportunities to serve so that you can have joy. He’ll teach you, answer your questions, share ideas, and, as we’re told in Doctrine and Covenants 6:11,
If thou wilt inquire, thou shalt know the mysteries which are great and marvelous.
How fun is that? And those mysteries are so beneficial! You can learn how to be a peacemaker, a loving spouse, parent, or child. You can learn how to minister to your friends. You can learn how to let go of pain and embrace truth and light. You can be healed.
In whatever ways you need, you can be healed.
Some people don’t like going to the temple very much because it’s unfamiliar and different and requires getting dressed and leaving home. That’s ok! If you don’t love hanging out at the Lord’s house, that just means that you need to go more often! The more you hang out there, the more comfortable you become, and the more friends you make.
And they are the absolute kindest friends ever. They are so happy to see you. Every time. Genuinely happy to see YOU! They have been praying for you even before you arrive, and they are just hoping that you’ll have a question or need some sort of assistance with anything at all. They just want to serve you and make you feel at home. Their number one priority is that you have a wonderful time while you’re in the Lord’s house.
There are other ways to get to know Jesus Christ as well—
You can read scriptures, listen to conference talks, sing hymns, and attend church meetings. You can pray, and ponder, and spend time in nature. It’s all good, and anything that brings you closer to God will also naturally lead you to be more like Him. That’s just how it works.
The closer you draw to Jesus Christ, the more like Him you become. It’s one of those great and marvelous mysteries, I guess.
President Christofferson said:
The good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that we, each of us, can call on the grace of Jesus Christ to help us. With our baptism and confirmation, He promises us the companionship of the Holy Ghost, the messenger of His grace. Through the Holy Spirit, we receive His influence and spiritual gifts, “the power of godliness” in our lives. This transformative power produces a mighty change of heart and the character qualities that accompany it.
I know that this is true. I know that God loves us dearly and wants to bless us. One of the best blessings he can give us is a Christlike character. THAT change of heart changes everything.
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