Ask Shaunti
Three Actions Guaranteed to Cure “Grumpy Guy” Syndrome
He’s an involved dad. He’s respected at church. People come to him for advice. He’s an all-around great guy but more and more often he seems to transform into “Mister Grumpy” when he gets home. Either small things seem to upset him, or he easily becomes withdrawn – or both.
Wish there was a prescription that would turn your husband back into the confident, engaging man you married? Well, there is… but it’s nothing he takes in. It is something you can change about what you send out. Because unless he is clinically depressed (and if he is, that’s a different topic), the issue goes deeper than any medication can reach.
After surveying thousands of men for For Women Only and other books, I’ve seen this one overwhelming truth: being grumpy and withdrawn are the top signals of a man who is feeling inadequate and unappreciated.
Tweet this: “Being grumpy and withdrawn are the top signals of a man who is feeling inadequate and unappreciated.“
Keep in mind that men are different mental animals than women. Their brains function in a very different way. When your husband tells you how much he loves you, it touches you deeply. But as strange as it sounds, when you do the same back to him—simply saying that you love him—it doesn’t help him feel loved. What your husband is begging for you to communicate is your respect and approval. He aches to hear from you that he measures up and that he’s good enough for you. But if he doesn’t feel that way, a black cloud settles over him.
Here’s how you can share that he does measure up, in a way that will almost always lift the black cloud over your man.
Tweet this: “What your husband is begging for you to communicate is your respect and approval.“
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