4 Secrets in Your Man’s Heart (That You Need to Know)

Secret #4: Affirmation in the bedroom is the deepest salve for his secret vulnerability

We women tend to misunderstand what physical intimacy means to our man.  We think of it as a physical need – which can often feel quite optional, especially when our physical need is sleep!

But instead, the importance of sex for a man is primarily emotional: when he knows that you desire him, it gives him confidence about how he’s doing in the other areas of his life.  And when you sexually flirt with him, respond to him in the bedroom, or even initiate intimacy, it says something very powerful to the vulnerable places in your husband’s heart: I do desire you… you do measure up… you are not alone.

As with all things, there are always exceptions, and some women are the ones with the higher libido (see a response to that here).  But most probably, your man is secretly longing for sexual connection not primarily for physical pleasure, but for a deep connection with you, the woman he loves, and for the deep reassurance that you care, that you believe in him, and he is worth you being one with him in every way.

Helping people thrive in life and relationships is Shaunti Feldhahn’s driving passion, supported by her research projects and writing. After starting out with a Harvard graduate degree and experience on Wall Street, her life took an unexpected shift into relationship research. She now is a popular speaker around the world and the author of best-selling books about men, women, and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).

Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge, demonstrates that kindness is the answer to almost every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.