Ask Shaunti
4. “Figuring it out” provides a rush of reassurance.
Ladies, you know that feeling you get when you’ve been arguing with your husband or boyfriend, maybe you’re secretly feeling a little insecure, and then at some point he comes over, gives you a big hug and says “we’re okay”? That is such a powerful feeling of reassurance when you’ve felt off-balance and vulnerable. Well, when a man doesn’t know exactly what to do—whether it’s which street to take or how to re-wire the basement lighting—and he perseveres and figures it out, he gets that the same sort of reassurance! He has just soothed that secret worry that he is not capable or good enough to complete the task. And when you see what he did and applaud him for it? That’s when he feels like a true winner!
Helping people thrive in life and relationships is Shaunti Feldhahn’s driving passion, supported by her research projects and writing. After starting out with a Harvard graduate degree and experience on Wall Street, her life took an unexpected shift into relationship research. She now is a popular speaker around the world and the author of best-selling books about men, women, and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge, demonstrates that kindness is the answer to almost every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.
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