How to Help Your Son Fight These Three Dangerous Lies

3. “People are always watching and critiquing me.”

It is human nature to think people are thinking and talking about us, when they probably aren’t nearly as focused on us as we think they are. Yet because guys are so attuned to how they do, they are also highly attuned to what people think of how they do. Many of the boys in my research told me they felt like they were under a microscope of judgment all the time – which led them to be even more hair-trigger sensitive about how they were doing.

Parents can do a great service for any child, but especially a boy, by helping them put things in perspective: the average person is probably far more attuned to their own life than to yours. You can try things – new activities, different outfits – without worrying so much.

By teaching them this, your sons learn the incredibly important skill of perseverance; to be okay with learning through failure rather than running from failure.  And then hopefully they’ll experience the rewards – and the confidence – that come from that perseverance.

Many boys do not need this sort of help from a parent, but most do. By confronting toxic thoughts you’ll be setting them up for a very real and very important confidence for their future.

Helping people thrive in life and relationships is Shaunti Feldhahn’s driving passion, supported by her research projects and writing. After starting out with a Harvard graduate degree and experience on Wall Street, her life took an unexpected shift into relationship research. She now is a popular speaker around the world and the author of best-selling books about men, women, and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).

Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge, demonstrates that kindness is the answer to almost every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.