Does Your Kid Make You Feel Like You Can Do Nothing Right?

The words kept coming as if pent up emotion had been there for years — and in all reality it had. A feeling he had almost a decade before had been triggered by a choice I had made two weeks earlier. My son had tied that feeling of 10 years ago to a situation I was facing today. As a result he was making assumptions. Assumptions that I was responding the same way I had all those years ago.

And he was angry, frustrated, and filled with fear.

A-ha! Now I knew what was troubling him.

Rather than tell my side of the story, which is where my true now I can fix-it nature likes to go. Thankfully I paused long enough to know what I should really do in moments like this.

I empathized. I apologized for what he experienced earlier. I made sure that he felt heard and affirmed.

Then I asked a critical question. “I know you were hurt years ago, and I know that the decision I made this time feels the same way to you, and I’m sorry. Would it be okay if I share why I think this time is different from last time?”