Does Your Kid Make You Feel Like You Can Do Nothing Right?

Notice that I asked permission to talk.

What I’ve learned is that when there is a disconnect between two people, asking their permission to tell them how you see the situation differently creates two things — an acknowledgement that you heard them and an understanding that you want to create a “safe” place for them.

If my son had said no to my question, I would have honored that and ended the conversation with something like “I know that this has been difficult for you and I respect that. I do feel like the situation today is very different from what you experienced in the past. When you are ready to talk about it let me know and I’ll share how I see things now.”

Thankfully my son agreed to let me share what I was thinking about the current circumstances. Once he was able to hear my heart, the climate changed between us. The sarcasm, the frustration, and the anger seem to be gone. Mutual respect has re-entered our relationship because we now understand each other’s reasons for our choices and behavior.