Kiss and Make Up? Not So Fast.

Through researching my book For Women Only, I began to understand that physical intimacy plays a huge role in how men feel about themselves. But when my husband Jeff and I surveyed thousands of women for our book For Men Only, we found that a woman’s desire is directly tied into the way her husband treats her. Her body’s ability to respond to you physically is tied to how she feels about you emotionally.

In other words, if your wife is feeling distanced from you emotionally — if you haven’t been talking much, or if you two are at odds — her body probably won’t be able to respond to you. So even though you may greatly desire closeness — even if, say, harsh words were spoken between you — her physical response switch might be turned to “off”.

Feeling and building everyday closeness with your wife is a must, but exactly what does that entail? We women need to feel pursued and loved outside the bedroom just as a guy needs to feel physically desired by his wife inside the bedroom.

Guys, physical intimacy starts in her heart, so your focus really needs to be on filling her emotional bank account. Think about what you did while you were dating that made her think you were irresistible. It wasn’t just about arranging the big candlelight dinners, was it? I’m guessing you invited her over to watch a movie, cuddle on the couch, and share some popcorn. Maybe you wrote her a little note from time to time telling her you were thinking about her. Why not do that now?