Kiss and Make Up? Not So Fast.

She still needs to know that you are smitten with her, so pursue her and help her feel close to you outside of physically intimate moments. She wants to feel as though you are best friends, that you can talk about anything, and that there are no secrets between you. All of these things help her feel close to you and help her mentally prepare to be physically intimate.

Now, just a quick warning: don’t let physical intimacy be your main intention for creating this day-to-day closeness — your wife will see right through this. Instead, remember to be attentive even when intimacy isn’t an option. Sometimes, hug her just to hug her!

So even though you may be craving physical closeness after an intense talk or an argument, keep in mind that your wife needs to have some emotional recuperation time.

Attend to your wife’s heart by pursuing her outside of the bedroom, and I’ll bet you’ll be delighted by her reaction!

Want to know how to be kind, when you really don’t want to be? My research uncovered three daily actions that will transform your relationships – and you. Check out The Kindness Challenge, now available!

Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average, clueless people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).

Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge demonstrates that kindness is the answer to pretty much every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.