Ask Shaunti
Tip #1 Choose to stop the negative train of thought
I grew up believing that we don’t choose feelings; they choose us. Our culture would have you believe that if you are angry or annoyed at something your spouse has done, you can choose what you do in response, but you have no choice in how you feel. Not true!
In fact, here is how the highly happy couples do it: they quickly stop a negative train of thought or action and replace unhappy or angry thoughts or actions with positive ones. When your wife accidentally forgets to drop off your dry cleaning (again), you can stop and consider the fact that she had a sick child at home, a furnace repairman knocking at the front door, and dinner on the stove. Or when your husband seems to be tuning out of a conversation at dinner, you can stop and realize he has an important meeting tomorrow with his boss about a possible promotion.
Tweet this: Highly happy couples quickly stop negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.
Stopping our negative thoughts and rerouting that train is a huge tool in creating happier marriages. Choose to say, “I’m not going there!” and focus on the reasons why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place.
Tweet this: Stopping our negative thoughts and rerouting that train is a huge tool in creating happier marriages.
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