Dear Shaunti: My husband and I haven’t been married very long, and I am scared about something. We have never fought much, but just had our first horrible argument. I was expecting him to “make up” with a hug or something, but he wouldn’t. Instead, he mumbled something about needing to run errands, grabbed his keys, and took off! Read more
Dear Shaunti: My wife and I are making a concerted effort to improve our marriage. Although she is a wonderful woman and a great mother, it drives me crazy at how negative she’s become over 12 years together. She is often critical about the most insignificant things. I didn’t pick the right pajamas for the kids. I didn’t separate the laundry colors properly. This really bothers me, but jumping all over her for it won’t win me any points or... Read more
Dear Shaunti, The other day, I got into a big fight with my wife. In an attempt to make things right, I tried to get intimate–and she got furious! We’ve only been married a few years, and honestly we don’t fight that much. But I’ve heard from lots of friends that make up sex is a common way of restoring the good feelings. I’m feeling a bit cheated. Why isn’t my wife willing to make up this way? Sincerely, Feeling... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My 13-year-old daughter rocks at math and science. She is at the top of her 8th grade class, and is one of the only girls in a robotics elective. My husband and I have always told her she’ll make a great engineer or doctor someday, and she used to LOVE that. But she also likes choir a lot, and lately, I’m alarmed because she has begun to think of herself as a creative person more than a math... Read more
Dear Shaunti: As the new medical director at a large hospital and top surgeon, I am a qualified woman with excellent experience in the medical field and in management. But I seem to be having a really hard time with my male coworkers since I was promoted. I work with a lot of men and have to make tough decisions quickly while on the surgery floor. Recently, two of my male counterparts argued with me over a decision. When I... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My husband and I never used to fight, but there have been a lot of fights, or almost-fights, the last few months. My husband is on the verge of losing his job in a restructuring, and we have three kids under the age of five. So he’s tense and on edge all the time, and little irritations tend to blow up into arguments. I can’t stand the kids being around that. I hate conflict in general, so I... Read more
Dear Shaunti, The other day, I got into a huge fight with my wife. I was mad and couldn’t talk to her. I was worried I would say something bad and be a total jerk. But the next day when things simmered down, she told me she didn’t know if I still loved her. Seriously?! And this isn’t the first time. Whenever we fight, she starts getting a lot of doubts and seems to question my commitment to our... Read more
Dear Shaunti, I am back in the workforce after ten years as a stay-at-home mom, and I know my experience juggling kids has prepared me well for my new project manager job. After all, before 7 am each morning alone, I have a husband and three kids to get fed, clothed, and out the door before racing to make our daily staff meeting. My female colleagues totally “get” that I’m prepared for this job, but I need to make sure... Read more
Dear Shaunti: I just got married to a great guy who has always loved my inquisitive, problem-solving nature. Or at least he used to. Lately, he has been getting more and more annoyed with it. He shuts down so easily. Or if I ask a simple question he acts as if it is the ultimate disloyalty. For example, our landlord has been giving us grief and is unfairly threatening to throw us out, and today when my husband suggested an... Read more
Dear Shaunti, My oldest son is having a tough first year of high school – leaving his old friends, trying to make new ones, and dealing with some unfair teachers. I’m thankful that at least he’s talking to us about these struggles (I was worried that he wouldn’t) but when he explains the latest issue, all we get is the dramatic injustice of it all. He won’t even listen to our suggestions of how to try to turn things around... Read more
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