New Arab Saints: A Fountain of Virtue to the Thirsty

Last updated on: May 19, 2015 at 5:40 pm By Max Lindenman

The careful reader will note something forlorn in the words “Pope Francis presided over the canonizations…before a congregation of tens of thousands of people.” Josemaria Escriva’s canonization drew a crowd of 300,000 – and his popularity was, as everyone knows, far from universal. By St. Peter’s Square standards, “tens of thousands” just doesn’t add up to that big a crowd, especially not for a doubleheader. Yet there’s a sad logic behind the slim numbers. The two new saints whom Pope... Read more

Sic Transit Gloria Basset Hound

Last updated on: May 13, 2015 at 11:39 am By Max Lindenman

Once puberty concludes its mad career, the aging process slows. After building itself up in a frenzy, the body breaks itself down in its own sweet time. For that reason, when preparing to meet an old friend after a long separation, we can predict, more or less, how the person will look. It’s a simple matter of tweaking the picture we’ve been carrying in our heads since our last meeting. As long as we add few pounds, draw some crow’s... Read more

Splitting the Difference on the Mercy Logo

Last updated on: May 10, 2015 at 9:10 pm By Max Lindenman

Yes, the logo for the Year of Mercy is an eyesore — and that’s if you’re smart enough to look away after giving it a quick glance. Woe betide those who look twice: they run the risk of being hypnotized. Jesus‘ limbs seem to be made of rubber. Dainty pinpricks represent the wound he sustained on the cross. He and Adam, the burden he’s carrying, have just three eyes between them, all of which look to have been plucked from... Read more

Unfriending Jack Without Friending Bill

Last updated on: May 9, 2015 at 7:15 pm By Max Lindenman

If the AA chapter had been a little more upscale, I might just have gone back. But – surprise, surprise – the one nearest me turned out to be the absolute bottom of the line. All the people who gathered that Sunday morning had cracked skin and spoke in cracked voices and dressed in clothes that looked washed out and – in some cases — grungy. They gave the impression of having squandered the last of their human potential, of... Read more

Revenge Porn for the Righteous

Last updated on: May 7, 2015 at 9:59 am By Max Lindenman

In its Christmas, 2014 issue, the Catholic literary magazine Dappled Things published a link to “Thank You for the Light,” a story submitted by F. Scott Fitzgerald to The New Yorker in 1936. In only 1,200 words, Fitzgerald recounts how Mrs. Hanson, a “pretty, somewhat faded woman of forty” who sells corsets and girdles, faces disapproval from her buyers whenever she pulls out a cigarette. “Smoking,” Fitzgerald explains, “had some ability to rest and relax her psychologically…[it] had come to... Read more

I Have Heard You Calling in the Night

Last updated on: May 6, 2015 at 3:04 am By Max Lindenman

The voice came in the quietest part of the night, and it was loud enough to pull me out of my sleep. “Threat has been detected,” it said. I couldn’t place it. It belonged to a woman, which, in this apartment, made it a novelty. It seemed to be coming from the living room. Then I heard it again. “Threat has been detected,” it repeated. The intonation was exactly the same, but I thought I detected new insistence, as though... Read more

Phoenix and the Prophetic Life for Beginners

Last updated on: May 3, 2015 at 10:13 pm By Max Lindenman

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a piece titled “Heaven in the Jungle” about the archaeological digs along the east bank of the Jordan River. According to a great deal of expert opinion, these include the very spot where John the Baptist met and baptized Jesus. I omitted one observation that fairly obsessed me throughout my brief tour of the place: it looks just like the wetlands in the Phoenix Zoo. Between the tamarisks and the reeds and the... Read more

Hooray for Cheap Grace!

Last updated on: May 6, 2015 at 10:11 pm By Max Lindenman

After I flew back to Phoenix and claimed the keys to my new apartment, one of my first acts of settling in was to pay a visit to the Motor Vehicle Department. My passport was my only remaining valid form of identification. Rather than afflict it with new creases and sweat stains, I thought I’d obtain a state-approved photo ID, which would be good for six months. It turned out that the agent had bigger plans for me. “Are you... Read more

Special Attention: Conclusion

Last updated on: April 23, 2015 at 7:04 pm By Max Lindenman

The agent’s booklet contained the address of the Department of Homeland Security’s official website. After installing myself and my laptop in the apartment my mother shares with Bob, her husband, I paid the site a visit. There I learned that Homeland Security had created something called the Traveler Redress Inquiry Program, or DHS TRIP – “the single point of contact for individuals who want to report difficulties regarding their security screening at transportation hubs or U.S. borders.” That sounded like... Read more

Special Attention: Part I

Last updated on: May 7, 2015 at 2:05 am By Max Lindenman

On my way home from Turkey, I stopped in Kyiv — the auld sod, more or less, for the Lindenmans. I ended up spending about two hours there, all of it in Boryspil Airport, but I have a hunch a lifelong memory was made for me. Just as I’d reached the head of the line to board my flight to JFK, the gate agent took my passport, checked a list on the stand and told me to step to the... Read more