James Thurber claimed that he first gained a sense of the surreal from hearing the cliches of his neighbors and family in Columbus, Ohio. In the world of his childish mind, men left town under actual clouds, and women existed who were literally all ears. Hearing about Mrs. Huston, who was all cut up when her daughter died, threw him into a panic: “I could see the doctors too vividly, as they set upon Mrs. Huston with their knives, and... Read more
I can’t believe I’m saying this openly, but last Sunday, for the first time ever, the Novus Ordo Mass started looking cheesy. My reaction did not reflect any evolution in my liturgical tastes: the previous week, I’d fled a church whose ambience was wound so tightly that I expected the priest and altar servers to march up the aisle to “Preussens Gloria.” Probably, some blame should go to the band, which was frankly awful. (Since I’ve been to St. Tim’s,... Read more
The acronym TINA — There Is No Other Alternative — may explain Herman Cain’s recent surge in the polls. As far as the Republican base is concerned, Rick Perry’s mandatory vaccinations and his provision of in-state tuition to the children of illegal immigrants put him in the same RINO pen with Mitt Romney. Quick — someone check the man for Mormon underwear. But it would be wrong, I think, to define what Cain has purely in terms of what Perry... Read more
Argentina’s Guerra Sucia, or Dirty War, didn’t get that name by accident. From 1976, when a military junta seized control of the government, until 1983, when the country’s National Reorganization Process held general elections, thousands of citizens — some claim as many as 30,000 — were made to disappear. Argentina’s Commission on the Disappearance of Persons discovered that many, following capture and torture by military forces, were thrown, alive, from low-flying airplanes into the Rio Plata and South Atlantic. Only... Read more
Making Apocalypse Now pulled Martin Sheen into the heart of his own personal darkness. His latest project, The Way, the story of a bereaved father making a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela, in Spain, stirs memories of his countermarch back toward the light. If the film turns out to be half as moving as this interview with National Catholic Reporter’s Sr. Rose Pacette, Sheen, along with son Emilio Estevez, The Way’s writer and director, ought to line up for their... Read more
John Belushi and Humphrey Bogart were born too late. On the other hand, if you’re reading this, and haven’t yet died of lung cancer, or from shooting up a speedball, you might be right on time. According to the New York Times, researchers at San Diego’s Scripps Institute are planning work on a vaccine that will prevent recipients from feeling the effects of these substances. Like any vaccine, it contains small elements of the dangerous agent, and is meant to... Read more
I hadn’t been in Russia twelve hours before some guy kissed me on the neck. Having flown into Sheremeteevo Airport early in the morning, I checked into the hostel where my study group was to be quartered and spent the afternoon sightseeing. Upon returning early that evening, I discovered that — providentially — someone had built a bar right into the hostel. No sooner had I bellied up than the owner invited me to join him at his table. After... Read more
School officials in Alabama are reporting a sudden disappearance of Hispanic students. The Associated Press reports that some parents said they planned to leave the state “to avoid trouble with the law, which requires schools to check students’ immigration status.” Like that old joke about 100,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean, this is a good start. But it’s only that. The last time we Americans relied on the government to solve our problems, we got the Interstate Highway... Read more
To all appearances, the Boston Red Sox broke their curse once and for all during the 2004 World Series, when they took the Cardinals in four straight games. Now, in view of Boston’s late loss to Baltimore, some are saying that the hoodoo is still very much operational and under warranty. In Slate, Brian Palmer reviews his consultations with curse experts from various syncretic traditions, all of whom agree that curses aren‘t so easily shed: How could the Sox break... Read more
High school football just went gothic. After Marcellus High’s junior varsity squad lost a game, head coach Jim Marsh ordered the team bus to stop at a local cemetery. Exactly what happened next is still subject to dispute, but some are claiming Marsh used this visit to the abode of the dead as the backdrop for a teachable moment. According to the Post-Standard: The sources said Marsh, also an English teacher at the high school, ordered the team bus to... Read more
Diary of a Wimpy Catholic
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