JesusWeen: A Good Way to Get Your House Egged

JesusWeen: A Good Way to Get Your House Egged October 15, 2011

A Christian group called JesusWeen has a great idea: Instead of handing out candy on Halloween, hand out mini-Bibles to the youngsters who stop by in costume yelling “trick or treat.”

JesusWeen founder Pastor Paul Ade began replacing sugar with scripture in 2002. “All it took was putting a bible into every bag as they opened each bag with a smile,” declares the JesusWeen website, adding that it was “much easier than expected” to trick kids into thinking the Bible was a treat.

The group now has over 2,000 followers on Facebook and says on Twitter it expects JesusWeen followers to hand out hundreds of Bibles and become “the most effective Christian outreach day ever.”

But what is it about All Hallows’ Eve that Pastor Paul finds so scary? “I think it’s an activity that doesn’t have anything to do with Christians,” the Canadian pastor told Gawker. He’s right: it has to do with candy! (And capitalism.)

That’s a good way to get your house egged or TP’d. And candy may be bad for your teeth, but the Bible can be bad for your brain.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • ArtK

    It’s a win-win for the fundies. Either they get their message out or they get to be a martyr. “Look, those evil people are persecuting us for our faith. Halloween is satanic — the Devil is driving them to do this.”

  • Renolds

    They use the bible to break a window and then throw the eggs!

  • ManOutOfTime

    Oh, brother! What’s next? Christ-mass?? I was born a lapsed Catholic (seriously) and it irritated me to no end when holy rollers tried to take the fun out of perfectly wonderful pagan holidays – Xmas, Easter, Hallowe’en – with their weeping Jesus bullshit. Can’t the kids just play dress-up and have a little candy?! Killjoys. I guess they think John Lithgow is the good guy in Footloose.

  • brentthompson

    Put some dog poop in the bible, set it on fire and ring the bell. Then take a picture of the homeowner stomping on the bible!

  • Cuttlefish

    I’m giving out bibles this Halloween night—

    The Gideons gave me a stack—

    It’s more in the spirit, I think you’ll agree,

    Than some sort of a sugary snack.

    .

    .

    .

    http://freethoughtblogs.com/cuttlefish/2011/10/13/bibles-for-trick-or-treat/

  • Aquaria

    They really can’t stand it that most people enjoy life outside of kissing an emo scumbag deity’s ass 24/7.

  • Well, at least when the parents are going through the treats looking for anything poisonous/dangerous they won’t be wasting their time for once.

  • Aquaria

    Can’t the kids just play dress-up and have a little candy?!

    Not to them. Jesus should be everything to you. All your joy in life should come from worshipping Jesus and praising him for how wonderful he is, and begging for any crumb of his time or interest. All your interests should revolve around him.

    Nothing else in your life should compare–or matter.

    It’s like…being married to ex-Mr. Aquaria #2!

  • Wes

    Maybe this Halloween I’ll give the kids both some candy and a copy of the Origin of Species to balance things out. 🙂

  • heddle

    ManOutOfTime

    Can’t the kids just play dress-up and have a little candy?!

    Yes. Most (evangelical) Christian parents I know give out candy and take their kids trick or treating.

    My son, getting the idea from Mad Magazine, last went as an IRS agent. Some variant of this occurred in about 10% of the houses:

    Woman at door: Oh, and what are you?

    My son: An IRS agent.

    Woman at door, to husband on couch: Honey you’ve got come see this, it’s the scariest costume ever!

    The idea of giving out bibles is, however, quite an old one. I remember getting one as a kid.

    —-

    To save Aquaria the bother: Heddle you lying f*ckface go away until you have something intelligent to say, you scumsucking…

  • Michael Heath

    I don’t get the wisdom using the name JesusWeen. The word ‘ween’ is not a word I doubt many understand so it’s easy to misconstrue its definition to a similar word, “wean”. That had me initially concluding this group sought to ‘wean’ kids from a belief Jesus is God.

    Ween: Be of the opinion; think or suppose

    E.g., “he, I ween, is no sacred personage”

    Cite: Google Dictionary

  • Sastra

    But what is it about All Hallows’ Eve that Pastor Paul finds so scary? “I think it’s an activity that doesn’t have anything to do with Christians,” the Canadian pastor told Gawker.

    I find this attitude (or heddle’s view that there’s no conflict between Christianity and Halloween) much better than a full-scale attempt to re-appropriate the holiday as inherently Christian at its core. Imagine if the cultural assumption was that giving out candy was really supposed to be a recognition of Christ’s sacrifice or dressing up in costumes was of course symbolic of being clothed in a resurrection body: atheists would then have “no reason” to celebrate Halloween.

    We’re already told by the fervently Christian that we atheists should stay out of holidays like Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, and Thanksgiving because they have an inherently religious, Christian meaning. The last thing we need is to be told that no, Halloween is also about Jesus and God.

  • This gave me an awesome idea for a halloween costume. To do it, I’d need 2 gay guys who look like jesus. Then dress them up as jesus and have ’em walk around doing public displays of affection and inviting people, “hey! 3 makes a trinity!”

  • JesusWeen sounds like it should be something to do with the rock group Ween, not an evangalism attempt.

  • Well at least they’re being honest about the bible being deceitful for once, being a trick and all rather then a treat.

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  • So it;s not a Poe after all? Drat…

  • I’m not sure whether to be more horrified by their killjoy rhetoric or their etymology FAIL. FFS, Halloween = Hallow-E’en = Holy-Evening. In the sense of “the evening before the holy day”. Jesus already has an E’en. We call it Christmas eve.

  • richizzo

    About thirty years ago, I went trick-or-treating, a ten-year old…umm… I have NO idea what I was dressed as. I do remember one of my “treats” – plastic vampire fangs, with Scripture attached.

  • Akira MacKenzie

    To save Aquaria the bother: Heddle you lying f*ckface go away until you have something intelligent to say, you scumsucking…

    No need to put words in Aquaria’s mouth, Heddy, you sub-human pile of Christian shit. Oops… sorry, I forgot that “Christian shit” is a redundant phrase.

  • sumdum

    “I think it’s an activity that doesn’t have anything to do with Christians,”

    SO WHAT. Not everything has to. Taking a dump has nothing to do with Christianity, gonna skip all your bowel movements ?

  • The Christian Cynic

    Akira MacKenzie: Stay classy.

  • fifthdentist

    They should so call themselves the Hallow Weeners …

  • Sadie Morrison

    Akira MacKenzie’s comment 20 is wildly, grotesquely out of line. However, Heddle’s remark at 10,

    To save Aquaria the bother: Heddle you lying f*ckface go away until you have something intelligent to say, you scumsucking…

    is tasteless baiting and a whine of nonexistent victimization.

  • marymallone

    Why not make Christian candy? The child-me would totally have eaten an artificially-flavoured crucifix gummy that tastes like strawberry and is covered in that sour, powdery sugar (?) stuff used to dust sour keys.

  • heddle

    Sadie Morrison,

    Fair enough(*). I regretted writing it after I posted it. I will return to ignoring Aquaria’s psychosis. Possibly, after the next N times she does the more or less exactly same thing, I’ll fall off the wagon again. I hope not.

    —————

    (*) Although the charge of “whining” is cheap–given that one can offer no defense that doesn’t open you up to more charges of whining. It is one of the more common conversation stoppers used in blogs and I hate it. (Oh is that whining?)

  • wheatdogg

    JesusWeen: Because fun is of the Devil

    Brought to you by the War on Hallowe’en.

  • dingojack

    Speaking of Christian candy, I seem to recall reading about a schoolkid got in trouble for selling candy-sticks with Christian messages in them for a school project. Of course the school was forced to back down. – Dingo

    —-

    PS: Heddle – nah, it’s ‘male, white, Christian, middle-class privilege’.

    (‘privilege’ = ‘I don’t like you, or your arguments, but I can’t really articulate why. SO SHUT UP ’cause I’ve decided absolutely everything you say to be REALLY OFFENSIVE to me, and the whole of [fill in name of genus here*]; absolutely everything you say from now on will be JUST PLAIN WRONG!Even if it isn’t’)

    * Not being even vaguely connected to the named genus is perfectly OK

  • dingojack

    Oops forgot to add [/curmudgeonly rant] to footnote above, apols.

    As I understand it, ‘Halloween’ is derived from ‘All Hallows Evening’ [Hallow e’en], that is, it’s the eve of All Souls Day (1 Novemeber). – Dingo

  • Strategically Shaved Monkey

    “Taking a dump has nothing to do with Christianity”

    I beg to differ.

    And forget the christian candy, just put Jelly Babies in the same bag with Candy Dinosaurs and apply for a tax break from Kentucky.

  • MikeMa

    As kids mapping the path through our neighborhood likely to maximize candy, we had a few X’s on houses to skip. The dentist who gave out toothpaste and a toothbrush got an X. So would a babble giving house if we’d had one. No time wasted on crap.

    As for the calendar filling up with jesus related days, pretty much every day is already marked for some christian martyr or other. I ignore most of them without a problem the same way I ignore most muslim and jewish holidays. They mean nothing to me and never will.

  • DaveL

    I don’t get the wisdom using the name JesusWeen. The word ‘ween’ is not a word I doubt many understand so it’s easy to misconstrue its definition to a similar word, “wean”. That had me initially concluding this group sought to ‘wean’ kids from a belief Jesus is God.

    Oh that’s nothing. Just wait until one of the participants gets asked if he or she is a Jesus Weiner.

  • jamessweet

    I’m gonna start handing out mini Qurans, mini copies of The God Delusion, maybe some DVDs of Birth of a Nation, we’ll see how well that goes over. I call it “FuckYouWeen.”

  • sunsangnim
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