Fundie Lie of the Day: Being Saved Changes Your DNA

Fundie Lie of the Day: Being Saved Changes Your DNA October 19, 2011

Found this on Al Stefanelli’s Facebook page and it cracked me up. It’s fundie preacher Damon Thompson claiming that being “saved” (from what?) actually changes a person’s DNA — so much so that if you commit a crime and leave behind DNA testing, if you’re “born again” in the meantime your DNA won’t match that left behind at the scene. Nope, I’m not making this up.


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  • ManOutOfTime

    That explains the extra dose of stupid.

  • Stevarious

    Testable. Let’s get this guy’s DNA and compare it against some of those untested rape kits in LA.

  • raven

    He forgot to mention that your IQ also drops by about 50%.

    So, what happens when people deconvert? Does their DNA change again? Suppose they join another religion?

  • frankb

    Wow, if OJ knew about this, he could have gotten “saved” and then he never would have been convic…Oh never mind.

  • Jesus comes in, logic goes out. You can’t explain that.

  • rational jen

    How did I get logged in as rational jen?

  • It’s early yet, but I’m casting my NettieWin vote’o’the day for fifthdentist.

    Does the Rev know about the “Confessional Weight Loss Plan”. You eat as much pizza, bar-b-q and deep-fried ice cream as you want, say a little prayer and unburden your “heavy soul”, ey voyla, you’re anorexis with JEBUS!

  • frankb

    Oh, I figured it out. Damon knows it’s a lie. He is trying to lure in stupid criminals to reform them. Clever!

  • toddsweeney

    Why doesn’t it surprise me in the least that the first thought he has is “Cool, so I can rape and murder all I like before I do the ‘Accept Jesus’ thing, and not only will the Lord be cool with it, I can’t be caught by secular authority either!”

    Seriously, I have sat through sermons where a similar lesson was taught. And not hinted at; the preacher told his congregation right out “It doesn’t matter if you steal or kill. What matters is you say the Magic Words just before you die.”

    What a lovely, lovely lesson.

  • I suspect that Thompson isn’t so stupid as to believe this. But he probably thinks his congregation is. On the bright side, I suspect that this sort of thing is the sort of thing that helps get people listening who aren’t too completely stupid and ignorant to wake up and realize how ridiculous the whole thing is.

  • In a properly-run universe, stupidity this bad wouldn’t merely cause acute pain: it would immediately make the speaker’s head explode.

  • bahrfeldt

    Doesn’t one have to confess and repent, change your ways, serve your time and make restitution, to be saved? Or just say the magic words and pay the deity’s chosen representative, vote for one of his chosen candidate(s) and you’re in, cleansed of all guilt and responsibility. Deny, deny, deny. Nein, nein, nein.

  • ArtK

    I cannot wait until someone tries this as a defense in a criminal trial. “That can’t possibly match my DNA — I’ve been saved!” Of course, that might become a good lead-in to an insanity defense.

  • Of course, fingerprints never change, so you’ll still need to wear gloves when you go on your murderous rampage. And they still do visual comparisons of hair, so wear a shower cap or something.

    Grissom was right–there are too many forensics shows on TV.

  • Draken

    @8, frankb: After which he turns them in the police for a reward. It’s a win-win situation! For Thompson that is.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Conversion causes mutation.


    I’m gonna have to go read those Chi-Men comic books all over again…

  • I cannot wait until someone tries this as a defense in a criminal trial. “That can’t possibly match my DNA — I’ve been saved!” Of course, that might become a good lead-in to an insanity defense.

    The scary thing: I think I may have read about someone who did that in some “stupid criminals”-type book.

  • naturalcynic

    Of course he’s right. It will only happen if you’re a True ChristianTM. If it doesn’t work, it shows that the repentance wasn’t really real.

  • imthegenieicandoanything

    Once you accept the Bible as literally true and inerrant, stupidity and dishonesty, like hell, have no bottom.

  • sunsangnim

    So many questions:

    Creationists always say that evolution can’t be true because mutations are generally harmful. Is this one of the beneficial mutations?

    Some of your more moderate Christians believe God directed evolution. Is this how he did it, by “saving” a Tiktaalik so it could have genetic mutations enabling it to walk on land?

    If your DNA changes, how does that change your phenotype? It would be cool if getting “saved” changed your eye color instantly.

    Could getting “saved” cure genetic illnesses?

    Does this apply to mitochondrial DNA, transfer RNA, and other molecules?

  • gworroll

    Of course, an incompetent DNA analyst can’t possibly be the cause of these anomalies.

  • Rike

    Does that mean that some of those prisoners that were set free because their DNA didn’t match were guilty after all?

    They committed the crime, were convicted, sent to death row; then they found jesus, their DNA changed, did no longer match the DNA from the crime scene, and they were set free!

    Wow, is this guy on to something?

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  • Michael Heath

    Where this “new” DNA still provided convincing evidence of common descent.

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