Jesus Cured Reefer-Induced Lesbianism

Jesus Cured Reefer-Induced Lesbianism November 1, 2011

A “family values” lobbyist and Republican candidate for office in Virginia admitted to having a lesbian affair with a minor while she was a high school gym teacher — how cliche is that? — but says it was induced by smoking pot and getting an education — and Jesus fixed her all up.

A Republican woman running for a state government position in Virginia admitted that she had a lesbian encounter with a minor while working as a high school gym teacher.

Linda Wall, 61, said that she is a completely different person from the time when the relationship occurred, and now she consistently speaks out against legislation that she feels promotes homosexual lifestyles.

‘Forty years ago I was a different person. I was a heavy pot smoker with… impaired judgement and made some bad choices,’ she told a local Associated Press reporter…

On her campaign website, Ms Wall attributes her lesbian relationship to the wayward ways of her liberal college teachers.

‘When I went away to Longwood College, I allowed liberal professors to destroy my Judeo-Christian upbringing. I guess one could say I became the ‘prodigal daughter’. But when my rebellious years came to a close I knew it was the Lord that I needed.’ she writes on her campaign website.

She now considers herself an ‘ex-gay’ and is very verbal in her prediliction towards laws that support the ‘traditional’ family.

She currently lobbies on behalf of a conservative group opposed to same-sex marriages and adoption by same-sex couples called the Family Foundation.

See! Even when conservatives do bad things, it’s all the fault of liberals. And demon weed. And Jesus cures it all. Which means she has all new DNA, of course.

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