Wingnut Mayor Tries to Be Clever

Wingnut Mayor Tries to Be Clever November 1, 2011

Remember that town in Tennessee with the cross on its water tower, where the mayor called those who objected to it being there terrorists? Well he’s trying to be terribly clever by only removing part of the cross and thus rendering it no longer a cross:

The mayor of the town complied in his own way, having one arm of the cross removed as a form of protest.

Technically, the cross is gone but it serves as a reminder to what the town was forced to do.

In a letter to Nashville lawyer Alvin Harris, Mayor James Bellar wrote, “This brings to close a sad chapter in the history of Whiteville that can best be described as terroristic, cowardly and shameful! The fear and terror caused our older people here is shameful. So shame on your client and your firm!”

The group called off plans to sue the town, called the mayor’s protest “bizarre” and says it will be watching.

They’re so cute when they’re stomping their feet and throwing a tantrum.


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • lofgren

    I thought old people were supposed to be badasses. Didn’t they each individually punch Hitler in the face or something?

  • sqlrob

    Some prankster should be additive and not subtractive.

    Add four more arms. Where is left as an exercise for the reader.

  • Dennis N

    I thought old people were supposed to be badasses. Didn’t they each individually punch Hitler in the face or something?

    This is a self-portrait of my grandfather, hanging above the mantle in our living room.

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    “Take that, ya damn atheists!” I’m somehow reminded of the Bill O’Reilly bumper sticker slogan “We say ‘Merry Christmas'”. Jesus (assuming, for rhetorical purposes, some facts not in evidence) must be so happy to have his name and the symbol of his selfless sacrifice deployed for such petty, spiteful purposes.

    The gospel of Matthew quotes Jesus as saying

    Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

    I fancy that it was people like this mayor that he had in mind.

  • Randomfactor

    So it serves as a reminder that they had to be forced to do the right thing?

    Works for me.

  • timpayne

    Like the name Santorum, the one armed cross is just begging for a new meaning, perhaps a predilection for sex with goats?

  • frankb

    “This brings to close a sad chapter in the history of Whiteville that can best be described as terroristic, cowardly and shameful! The fear and terror caused our older people here is shameful.

    Oh, I am sure the mayor is going to remind the older folks just how fearful and terrorized they should be. Apparently he couldn’t get the younger people to react appropriately.

  • Abby Normal

    The mayor desiccated his own religion’s holy symbol to protest being pressured to abide by the laws he’d sworn to oath to support? Guess that’ll show ‘em.

  • Abby Normal

    Er, *desecrated. Silly spellchecker. Why aren’t you more psychic?

  • chilipepper

    Should’a taken off the very top section, converting it into either a “T” or a Thor’s hammer.

  • woodytanaka

    @ Dennis N #3

    This is a self-portrait of my grandfather, hanging above the mantle in our living room.

    Your grandfather was Bucky??? Awesome! (sorry.)

  • Dennis N

    No sorries needed, Bucky is awesome

  • lofgren

    Your grandfather was Bucky??? Awesome! (sorry.)

    Jack Kirby was Bucky!?

  • Aquaria

    The fear and terror caused our older people here is shameful. So shame on your client and your firm!

    Yeah, I bet these are the same people who cower in the corner and clutch their purses closer when they have to share an elevator with a black person, too.

    I’ve always thought that 90% Southerners are a bunch of bullies hiding their quivering cowardice. Thanks for confirming it.

  • ManOutOfTime

    Perhaps he should have set in in fire in someone’s front yard – would have been more consistent with the type.

  • Hmm… now what if that arm is pointing east… toward Mecca?

    Just askin’.

  • MikeMa

    @Abby

    desiccated works too. Sort of.

    The subtler point the mayor may be making is to encourage the distressed older folk to climb up the tower and replace the lost arm. The climb will surely kill off a few of the aged folk but does the mayor care? Not him.

    Future headline: Mayor James Bellar of Whiteville Kills Off Old Folks for Jesus.

  • LightningRose

    I’d applaud him if he turned it into a T – that way it would be the nation’s only historically accurate cross.

  • eric

    Lightning Rose: I’d applaud him if he turned it into a T

    Nah, do the opposite. Some enterprising young non-christian needs to add an extension to the top of it, so it looks upside-down. Lets see if the Mayor will claim that symbol isn’t religious entanglement. 🙂

  • barbarienne

    You don’t think he’s trying to make it look like a gallows’ pole?

  • MikeMa

    Maybe he intends to play a city-wide game of hangman?

  • dingojack

    “This brings to close a sad chapter in the history of Whiteville that can best be described as terroristic, cowardly and shameful! The fear and terror caused our older people here is shameful.”

    Looks like Whiteyville* needs some mental health experts, stat!

    The wide-spread epidemic of anxiety disorders amongst the elderly is getting outta control. Perhaps we should git ’em some nice white sheets with eyeholes and some gas to light that thar (non)cross up, that’ll make ’em feel better (and no doubt nostaligic). – Dingo

    —-

    * Mayor ‘Bubba’ Bellar addresses the Whiteyville Town Council meeting.

    PS: ‘desiccated’? Perhaps the Mayor cried so hard for baby jebus that he dried up and became so wrinkled he mistook himself for a pensioner.

  • Modusoperandi

    Stand clear! Stand clear! Jesus has one arm free and He’s pissed!