God Wants (Not) Joe the (Not) Plumber in Congress

God Wants (Not) Joe the (Not) Plumber in Congress November 2, 2011

God sure has been busy. Not only did he tell Herman Cain, Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum to run for president, he also told (Not) Joe the (Not) Plumber to run for Congress.

PC: So, are you going to run for office?

WURZELBACHER: I pray to God I won’t. And I mean that very specifically. You know, a lot of your audience, if they’re atheists, they don’t believe in God, whatever, they won’t understand this but I’m a praying man. I talk to God and yes, he does answer me. He’s not sitting there going “Joe!” No, he answers me through prayer. I prayed to him, I said, “God, you know, I don’t want to run.” I don’t want to be around this disgusting — you know, I’m a plumber. I’ve been covered in some pretty nasty stuff, right? Lots in my life. I feel dirtier when I leave this city than any plumbing job I’ve ever had. Because they made a mockery of our founding fathers and the ideals and principles this country was built upon. And so I have a problem with it. Now, if God says, “Joe,” you know, “I want you to do it,” then I’ll do it, but I’ll do it because that’s what God, you know, that’s what prayer has led me to believe. But it’s not something I seek after. I’ll tell you what. You guys wanna know the secret to life?

PC: Yes.

WURZELBACHER: This is the secret of life. And it’s not, you know, Billy Crystal and Curly in “City Slickers,” you know, it’s not just this one thing, it’s keep it simple, stupids. That is the secret of life.

Wurzelbacher seems to be keeping it stupid, simply. Hey, whatever happened to that country music CD he was supposed to be putting out? I wonder if God wanted him to do that too. Joe, I’d stop listening to the voices in your head. God obviously wants you to make a complete ass of yourself in public. And I wonder if God has registered his PAC with the FEC?

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