A Badly Written Tribute to Pam Geller

A Badly Written Tribute to Pam Geller December 8, 2011

Scott Pollack, who calls himself the chief editor of something called the Critical Post, publishes a tribute to Pam Geller that is in dire need of an editor who actually knows the basic rules of grammar. It’s terribly written, the kind of thing that would get a failing grade in a high school English class. The content is also sub-moronic.

If you’re a drone-like mind from the hopelessly indoctrinated Democratic Party dogmatic liberal disciplines, or affectionately known as a socialist, get out of here. You are close-minded in our judgment. You have bad software in your brain, and we can’t do anything about that until you begin to entertain the error of your ways, as you continue to entertain, or parrot the misguided thoughts of those you have accepted as correct in their assumptions for teaching you bad life practices in your politics and economic lives. Our judgments about you is clear.

The good news for us is, we think your mindsets are in decline. Most of you live in Boston, New York City, Philadelphia, Miami, Chicago, Las Vegas, Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles and San Francisco. Those are your mindset strongholds, therefore your voter clout, rest only in those immediate territories. The rest of the country either mildly tolerates you, or is in complete opposition to your views. That’s a lot of land territory friends, take a look at the map.

Your leadership, which springs from post graduate degree, liberal feminist chauvinists, brought about by a usurpatious lawyer class, and the Edward Bernays school of PR, artfully used by all of America’s large corporations, as well as, the Rockefeller Foundation’s various think tank initiatives, and now adopted by a greed filled Bolshevik-minded, Hungarian by the name of Soros, sadly and ironically, a misguided Jew no less, and we all suffer by comparison to him…this leadership again…female or male, has no clue of Austrian economics, among other things, and therefore, the rest of the dogmas they preach, have no effect except that of degenerated natures and malevolent, commercial – political manifestations, which is what prevails, and only tenuously, presently, in the fabric of the American Collective Conscience.

Holy run-on sentences, Batman. I’d love to see someone attempt to diagram that last sentence/paragraph.

If you are an avowed liberal and you read on, the consuls here, hope most diligently that we seriously offend you. We know of no other way to coerce you to think differently than you presently do. It should likewise be obvious to you, your venom’s can have no effect on us here at The Critical Post – Chicago. We’ll never tolerate your dissent as valid, simply to get along. As an alternative media source, our liberty will remain unabridged, thank you very much.

He must have gotten a really big box full of commas at Sam’s Club, and some extra apostrophes too. And you have to love the pointless persecution complex. Is someone trying to prevent him from speaking his mind? Of course not.

Pamela Geller is a beautiful, (soul and otherwise) and glamorous siren songstress of reason in a sea of Muslim, as well as, liberal confounded argument. She’s the only woman in the American popular culture, doing what she does, that we have been able to find. There are those who consider her courageous stance against the Muslim counterculture currently gripping at the underbelly of the American fabric, as bigoted, unreasonable and far beyond the pale.

Pam has been a guest commentator and entertained by many in the media, right, left (tacitly at best) and center. She is an award winner on the conservative side of the political spectrum, has co-written two books expounding her views. However, some we fear, has been entertaining her as merely a curiosity, and we think that is a grave mistake. Not only is Pam fighting for her four girls, She is fighting for you and your children. She is fighting and sustaining unfair comparison by uncritical thinkers, who we think are in a funk of ignorant tolerance and it is these folks who are more a danger to the American Collective Conscience, than Muslims themselves could ever hope to be.

You knew the randomly capitalized words were coming, didn’t you? It’s almost a genetic marker at this point, one of the primary ways to identify a wingnut’s writing.

But there must be something to Pam’s initiatives. She continues to rack up bookings on the conservative side of the spectrum. Conservatives have long ago come to realize that “our” best salesman, Jesus, after all, was a Jew. A Rabbi at that, and such a good one, they wrote a whole new religion around him and the philosophy known as Good News for Mankind, or the New Testament. I know this book well enough. One of my greatest friends, whose family came to America in 1656 as Evangelicals, talks about it all the time. Reference the family name of Gould in American life, to get a clue there. Reference The Volunteers of America. You’ll find the Gould family right smack dab in the middle of that one. My friend is a direct descendant. His parents, G-d bless them, are retired missionaries.

Um. What the hell does any of that have to do with anything? What a weird stream of unconsciousness. It goes on and on like that in endless strings of terrible writing.

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  • Crudely Wrott

    I read it and I’m sorry I did.

    Now I’ve got to make an emergency run to Lowes to get a set of sawhorses so that I can raise the work up off the floor.

    This stooping and squatting is killing me.

  • “She’s the only woman in the American popular culture, doing what she does, that we have been able to find.”

    You wrote “crazy enough to be” as “in the American popular culture.”

  • Taz

    We know of no other way to coerce you to think differently than you presently do.

    You want to coerce people to think differently?

    Pamela Geller is a beautiful, (soul and otherwise) and glamorous siren songstress of reason. . .

    I don’t find her song particular compelling, but I do agree it’s misleading and dangerous.

  • jakc

    Well, as a conspiracy theorist (he doesn’t say so directly, but you know he is) Scott really ought to back Ron Paul, but Ron doesn’t hate Muslims enough. So where else can Scott go except Pam Gellar. And by the way Scott, Hungarian Jews have plenty of reasons to distrust books written by Austrians

  • jamessweet

    a greed filled Bolshevik-minded, Hungarian by the name of Soros

    Not only is that a paranoid racist, sentence paranoid — but he seems also to have invented a new grammatical construct: The Anti-Oxford Comma!

    How does it work, you ask? It’s simple! If listing two or more items, you use a comma immediately following the final item, but no commas anywhere else. Using this technique, you can easily and rapidly, compose ugly difficult to read and confusing, prose. See how it works? Have at it, kids!

  • jamessweet

    So it bent my brain so far when I was composing #5 trying to emulate that guy’s comma style that I ended up with random repeated words and other artifacts.

    I just can’t make my brain use commas like that. I almost admire the guy… he can do something I am literally unable to do.

  • imrryr

    I could almost swear that this ‘ode’ was run through an online translator a couple of times.

    It should likewise be obvious to you, your venom’s can have no effect on us here at The Critical Post – Chicago.

    Presumably, this is why they have no editors at The Critical Post. Editors, with their nazi-like adherence to the rules of English grammar, have too much venoms.

    Were I to be standing in Jerusalem proper and had any sway, with any politician there, I would tell them to tear down The Dome of The Rock, reveal and resurrect Solomon’s Temple, once and for all time forward. It should never have been constructed in the first place.

    You know, that sounds like it would be a pretty bad idea.

    Our judgments about you is clear.

    I think what he meant to say here was, “All your base are belong to us.”

  • Someone should tell him that the Bulwer-Lytton contest doesn’t have a political commentary category.

  • God, that name is a mess. I won’t log in using my Facebook id again.

  • You left out my favorite line:

    “Much of the following that you are about to read is taken from research, and the back-checking of that research over many weeks by our staff.”

  • Randomfactor

    That’s a lot of land territory friends, take a look at the map

    …inhabited by a lot of sheep and cattle.

  • MikeMa

    Scott obviously typed this left handed.

  • TheAllen

    Folks, I don’t think we’re supposed to be reading this. Fold it up and pass it on, okay??

    PAM DO U LIKE ME?

    [ ] YES

    [ ] NO

  • At least he doesn’t double-space (unless Ed ed-ited them out)

  • Chris from Europe

    Re Facebook mess (sc_ac538dcaf4636138bd9a10f89bde770e)

    Shouldn’t FB provide the display name? But I think this can be overriden via WordPress preferences.

  • savagemutt

    “Much of the following that you are about to read is taken from research, and the back-checking of that research over many weeks by our staff.”

    “Back-checking” is obviously akin to the much-feared “back-tracing” by the Cyber Police.

  • abear

    @7 I hate, to nitpick but shouldn’t, that be venom’s not, venoms;

  • dcsohl

    See, that’s the problem with so many on the Right — they know no way of persuading anybody save through coercion and offense. They never figure out that even though people may eventually kowtow to their ways, it doesn’t actually change any hearts or minds. It only changes actions, and only as long as the targets are afraid of you coming back for more coercion.

  • tubi

    I don’t understand the stuff about the Gould family. He’s talking about one of his greatest friends, apparently named Gould, whose family came here in the 17th century as Evangelicals, who, I guess, talks about the Bible. Well, I referenced the family name of Gould in American life, as I was instructed, but I didn’t get a clue there.

    Is it Elliott Gould? Or maybe Bears kicker Robbie Gould. Who can say?! I demand further instructions!!

  • slc1

    Re tubi @ #19

    Or Stephen Jay Gould.

  • imrryr

    @17 – My apologies but, my fingers, refused to type that, apostrophe. 🙂

  • kermit.

    “…the Muslim counterculture currently gripping at the underbelly of the American fabric”

    And now it’s all snagged!

  • Doug Little

    The good news for us is, we think your mindsets are in decline. Most of you live in Boston, New York City, Philadelphia, Miami, Chicago, Las Vegas, Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles and San Francisco. Those are your mindset strongholds, therefore your voter clout, rest only in those immediate territories. The rest of the country either mildly tolerates you, or is in complete opposition to your views. That’s a lot of land territory friends, take a look at the map.

    So you add all that up and you come to a figure of 71,495,491 people in those areas alone and all of them have seen population increases since 2000, so I’m not sure what he is talking about.

  • Modusoperandi

    My mindsets are in decline? Oh no!

  • dingojack

    MO – well, at least my ‘headsets‘ are in the upright position.

    Woo Hoo!! Let’s land this baby!

    Dingo

  • jbrock

    That was almost physically painful to read. If I were a conservative, I’d be embarrassed to have that semiliterate git on my side.

  • Aquaria

    Most of you live in Boston, New York City, Philadelphia, Miami, Chicago, Las Vegas, Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles and San Francisco. Those are your mindset strongholds, therefore your voter clout, rest only in those immediate territories. The rest of the country either mildly tolerates you, or is in complete opposition to your views. That’s a lot of land territory friends, take a look at the map.

    But the problem, moron, is that several of those big cities are in states with huge electoral vote counts: California, New York, Pennsylvania, Illinois and Florida all have huge electoral vote counts. It makes a hell of a lot more sense to win California with its 55 electoral votes than it is to win Georgia and Texas, with 38 and 16 respectively. It makes more sense to win New York with its 29 electoral college votes than to win Oklahoma (7) and Arkansas (6) and Mississippi (6) and Alabama (9).

    So whole swaths of the country don’t need to be won, if the biggest states are. And, other than Texas, the big electoral votes are in Democratic strongholds, or at least states that can easily tip Dem with the right attention from a candidate.

  • jefferylanam

    The Gould reference is probably to Jay Gould,

    Jason “Jay” Gould (May 27, 1836 – December 2, 1892) was a leading American railroad developer and speculator. He has long been vilified as an archetypal robber baron, whose successes made him the ninth richest American in history. Condé Nast Portfolio ranked Gould as the 8th worst American CEO of all time.

  • Pinky

    Watch for more absurd adulation from Scott Pollack when Orly Taitz realizes he is the man of her dreams and tries to push Pam Geller from Pollack’s adolescent fantasies.

  • wheatdogg

    @19:

    Same here. I could only turn up the robber baron Jay Gould, from the 18th century. I have no idea how long his family was in the USA. I also checked the Wikipedia entry for Volunteers of America, which was founded by people named Booth. No mention of Gould there.

    I’m also scratching my head about the reference to Evangelicals in 1656. My memory of Christian history, which I corroborated online, is that Evangelism as a movement started in the 1730s in England. The mid-1660s were the peak times for the Puritans, Quakers and other Anabaptists and Presbyterians.

    Using my googlefu, I found this site, which references several Gould families in New England. None seem to be especially prominent, but I could be mistaken. http://www.selectsurnames.com/gould.html

  • abb3w

    GSS logit regression on POLVIEWS from AGE and YEAR suggests that he’s deluding himself about liberalism declining. Overall age brackets are tending to become more liberal; the most support would be that the demographic lump known as the Baby Boom is shifting more conservative as they age, making a temporary wobble. But even they seem to be less conservative than their parents were at the same age.

  • Pieter B

    This particular column is written for those of you who actually care to concentrate beyond 2 minutes, and only if you care about the subject at hand. Forth-rightfully, a correctly placed and well groomed American conscience, especially in this particular election season, should care to concentrate. Be that as it may…and on the other hand…

    What do you recommend to get brain tissue off office walls?

  • I gave up at “The good news for us is, we think your mindsets are in decline. Most of you live in the most heavily populated, most politically influential, most economically and socially robust cities in America.”

    They might as well say “We know we can beat your armies, because most of you live on military bases.”

  • Pieter B

    Paul Krugman described Newt Gingrich the other day as “A stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.” That’s a perfect description of this as well.

    FTR, Krugman credits the line to Ezra Klein, describing Dick Armey.

  • bsidler
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