The Perfect Christmas Gift

The Perfect Christmas Gift December 18, 2011

I’ve written before about the toasters you can buy that will put Jesus’ face on your toast in the morning. Turns out they’re selling like hotcakes. Because nothing says religious piety like spreading peanut butter over your savior’s face. Praise the Lord and pass the strawberry jam.

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  • gman

    This particular instance of paredeolia (sp) baffles me. On the one hand, these putative images of Jesus look just as much like John Lennon or Charlie Manson to me.

    Second, we have zero contemporary images of Jesus. So no one really has any idea what he looks like. This could as easily be the guy who lived down the street and around the corner from Jesus’ house.

  • dingojack

    It could be – gasp – Che Gueverra!

  • axilet


    Come on, everyone knows he’s a white dude with long hippy hair and blue eyes. /snark

    (seriously, I passed a nativity scene the other day with a pasty white baby as the centerpiece. Oddly enough the Kings had somewhat more accurate skin hues. /ponders this)

  • stevewelsh

    Pass the butter.

  • Blondin

    Pass the butter.

    “It’s up your end,” said Marlon Brando.

  • coragyps

    Hello Kitty has prior art in the toaster-face business. Varla Jean Merman, love-child of Ethyl Merman and Ernest Borgnine, went all the way to Japan several years back on a quest to purchase one.

    And it produced a better likeness than this Jesusey one does, without even having to know what Jesus looked like.

  • dingojack

    “… love-child of Ethyl Merman and Ernest Borgnine… ”

    And there’s a ‘hide the sausage’ vision I didn’t need before bedtime. 🙁


  • I wonder how many are being bought by Christians and howm many are being bought as jokes. Last year, one of my sons bought me a stamp to press into toast to make a face of ‘Jesus’, and there isn’t much reverence for him in my house.

  • bahrfeldt

    “Dively’s company, Burnt Impressions, also offers toasters that imprint images of the Virgin Mary, peace signs and pot leaves among others.” Would a true red blooded American Christian buy a Jesus image from a purveyor of satanic peace signs and images of pot leaves? I think not.

  • Is this the same company that tried to sell toasters which gave similar images for raisin bread only, to get pictures of Job with boils? Didn’t sell very many.

  • eric

    You can also get toasters that will put an NFL team logo on your toast.

    I’m sure there are many other variations, too. Not a bad marketing idea – its one of those things where you go “now, why didn’t someone think of this 30 years ago?”

  • d cwilson

    But can we get one that will burn Tim Tebow’s face on toast?

  • peterh

    The phrase, “The Stupid! It burns!” has taken on a whole new meaning.