Eddie Long “Apologizes”

Eddie Long “Apologizes” February 9, 2012

Remember the video the other day of megachurch pastor Bishop Eddie Long getting crowned as a king by some fraudulent rabbi? Well now he’s apologizing for it, and acting as though it happened to him totally by accident. CNN reports:

“The ceremony was not my suggestion, nor was it my intent, to participate in any ritual that is offensive in any manner to the Jewish community, or any group. Furthermore, I sincerely denounce any action that depicts me as a King, for I am merely just a servant of the Lord,” Long wrote in a letter dated Saturday…

“While I believe that Rabbi Ralph Messer has good intentions during his message at New Birth, I understand that the ceremony he performed on Sunday, January 29th, caused harm to the Jewish community, for which I am deeply sorry,” Long wrote.

This ranks up there with Newt’s explanation that he only cheated on his wife because he loved his country so much that “things happened.” It wasn’t his idea! So the fact that he scheduled it to take place and participated in it magically goes away now. It’s not as if he didn’t know what was going to happen and didn’t soak in the adulation of the morons in the pews over it. The “rabbi” was just walking past the church, came in and did it all against his will.

The letter was addressed to Bill Nigut, southeast regional director of the Anti-Defamation League — a Jewish group that fights anti-Semitism…

On Sunday, Nigut acknowledged the apology and said he was grateful for it.

“I thought it was a very heartfelt, sincere, humble apology,” he told CNN. “I was very gratified by Bishop Long apparently recognizing what our concern was.”

Ah yes, he was so humble. Ironically, that’s the very same word the “rabbi” used to describe Long during the ceremony. Because humble people always have themselves declared to be a king in front of thousands of adoring fans. Humble people always build massive churches and make millions of dollars bilking their credulous followers. It’s the very essence of humility.

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  • Chiroptera


    “I was just walkin’ down the street, minding my own business, when this guys comes over and puts a crown on my head! No shit! And then dumps like cooking oil all over me!…”

  • Actually, this apology could well be sincere. Did you see Long’s face during the ceremony? It wasn’t the face of someone who was enjoying the attention; it was the face of someone who was starting to think he’d been had, this wasn’t as good an idea as it originally sounded, and he was starting to look silly — especially when the lackeys picked up his chair and paraded it about on the stage.

  • Everything is always an accident with these preachers, whether it’s being crowned king in their church or smoking meth with gay hookers.

    What a not-pology.

  • Hey Ed,

    Not to digress from your post but the RSS feeds for Freethoughtblogs isn’t working properly, it won’t update. Not sure if you have control over this or not but a heads up then.


  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    I think I may be with Raging Bee on this one. Long had a little bit of that “deer in the headlights” look during the ceremony. Not knowing anything about Long, I wondered at the time if that might just be his natural state, but then again the ceremony might in fact not have been going the way he’d expected.

  • jesse

    This is a very weird example of what might be called cultural appropriation in a completely whacked-out way.

    Just what were they trying to do here? I wasn’t sure.

    The whole thing is just plain silly to boot. I suppose it isn’t as awful as New Age charlatans passing themselves off with ancient “Native Wisdom” or stuff from “Indian mystics” or whatever the flavor of the week is.

    I suppose though, this is something that a lot of people in various parts of the Christian faith try to do — connect it with something ancient to give it heft. That is they all say they are trying to get back to more ancient or original traditions, largely because most evangelical sects have a tough time with the fact that their faith has a history and modern evangelicals are, well, modern. (Religious fundamentalism as we know it today is actually a rather modern phenomenon of industrial societies– it would have made no sense in the 17th century and made little sense in say, rural Afghanistan in 1800. Fundamentalism depends on the contrast between the modern and something else).

    Jews have been able to work their history into the faith (or the expressions thereof) because the major center of religious devotion (and a good chunk of the political class) was you know, burned to the ground and destroyed, so people had to come up with something else. So you won’t find a Hasid, for instance, claiming that they look anything like Moses did.

    But this guy. Jeez, man.

  • imrryr

    Crowned as king without warning? Supposedly, the same thing happened to Charlemagne when he was unexpectedly crowned ‘Emperor of the Romans’ by the pope in 800 AD.

    Therefore, I can only conclude that Eddie Long is the modern reincarnation of Charlemagne.

  • Johnny Vector

    Therefore, I can only conclude that Eddie Long is the modern reincarnation of Charlemagne.

    That’s it, then. Cause, y’know, on the hill the stuff is laced with kerosene. But Long’s is kitchen clean. And pretty much everyone stops to stare at his technicolor motorhome.

  • mkoormtbaalt

    Now this is a story all about how

    My life got flipped-turned upside down

    And I liked to take a minute just sit right there

    And tell you how I became the king of a rabbi called Messer

  • Ichthyic

    he was starting to look silly — especially when the lackeys picked up his chair and paraded it about on the stage.

    yup. there’s nothing a con man hates more than to get conned themselves.

    and Eddie pretends at being the consumate conman. I really hate that fucker; he’s the reason Brian Tamaki is here in NZ, taking money from Islanders who haven’t experienced this religious congame before.

  • Ichthyic

    Now this is a story all about how

    My life got flipped-turned upside down

    And I liked to take a minute just sit right there

    And tell you how I became the king of a rabbi called Messer

    the themesong to the Beverly ConBillies?

  • mkoormtbaalt

    the themesong to the Beverly ConBillies?

    I think I like “Fresh Con of Belair” better.

  • So dark the con of Man?

  • raven

    I don’t see the big deal one way or another.

    It’s all Make Believe and Let’s Pretend. Might as well have some fun with it.

    King is taken by Eddie Long.

    There are two Popes, one in the Vatican, one in SLC.

    Rev. Moon is Jesus Christ II.

    Emperor of the universe is open. So is the holy ghost, “god”, and Mary, Queen of Heaven the second.

    There are so many self proclaimed New Apostles that it has gotten rather devalued, sort of like a new word for “moron”. But there is always the ever popular Prophet of god. Must be thousands or millions of those, at least.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Eddie was not the only one getting embarrassed – the rabbi was doing a Gish gallop by the end of the ceremony. He couldn’t wait to get out of there.

    Eddie and the rabbi were both giving out body language that was saying “Oops, this is turning into a disaster” but their ratbag audience clapped and cheered all the way through. [dickheads]

  • dingojack

    Wait now – there’s a pope in SLC?!?

    No wonder he writes irritable posts from time to time.

    🙂 Dingo

  • Pierce R. Butler

    King Bishop Rooks Pawns.

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