I hadn’t noticed until now that over the last few months, the Worldnutdaily has begun publishing video commentaries by Richard Rives, the president of Wyatt Archaeological Research. You can see his archives here. And if you’ve never heard of Wyatt Archaeological Research, strap in; you’re in for a real treat.
Ron Wyatt was a nurse anesthetist from Tennessee who became one of the world’s most ridiculous creationist frauds. Even by creationist standards, this guy was a buffoon and a fraud. He convinced a lot of credulous morons that he had found virtually every holy grail in biblical archaeology — the real Noah’s Ark, the real Mt. Sinai, the exact spot where the Red Sea was parted, the place where Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, and, most amusingly, the Ark of the Covenant (you know, the one that melted the faces of the Nazis in the first Indiana Jones movies. And get this — it had the dried blood of Jesus on it.
Now there’s a fascinating story behind this and the story told by the WAR people appears to have changed a bit. Here’s what their new page on the topic says:
With great anticipation, he looked around to see what else he could see, which wasn’t much. He shined his flashlight around the open area and then up to the ceiling. There, he saw something that caught his eye – it was a crack in the ceiling with a black substance within the crack.
Crawling slowly and painfully over the rocks to the rear of the chamber, he saw a stone case extending through the rocks. It had a flat stone top which was cracked completely in two and the smaller section was moved aside, creating an opening into the stone case. But the top was too near the ceiling for him to look inside. Yet he knew what was inside.
The crack in the ceiling was directly above the cracked part of the lid, where it was open, and the black substance had fallen from the crack into the case because some of it had splashed onto the lid.
It was at this time, as Ron recalls, as the instant realization of what had happened here dawned on him, that he passed out. When he realized that the crack in the ceiling was the end of the crack he had found in the elevated cross-hole many feet above him, and the black substance was blood which had fallen through the crack and into the stone case.
Ron then knew that the Ark of the Covenant was in the stone case: But the most overwhelming realization was that Christ’s Blood had actually fallen onto the Mercy Seat.
He claimed that the Ark was found in a cave beneath Calvary and that the blood of Jesus had flowed down through cracks in the rocks and fallen on the lid of the Ark. But an older version of the story offered some terribly amusing details:
Ron noticed a dried, black substance in an earthquake crack in the roof, above the Ark of the Covenant. He noticed that this black substance was also on the lid of the cracked stone casing. Obviously, this substance had dripped from the crack in the roof, and provision had been made for it to land on the Ark of the Covenant, as the stone lid had been cracked and moved aside. Ron wondered what substance could be so sacred, that God made provision for it to land on the Mercy Seat of the Ark of the Covenant. He remembered the earthquake crack at the foot of the cross hole, and suddenly an awesome realisation as to what had happened, came over him. Ron traced the earthquake crack, and indeed it was the same crack as the one at the cross hole. The dried black substance in the crack was tested and proved to be blood, apparently the blood of Jesus Christ. The Bible says that when Jesus died there was an earthquake and the rocks were rent (Matt. 27:51). A Roman soldier speared Christ in His side in order to make sure He was dead, and blood and water poured out (John 19:34). Ron discovered that this same blood and water poured down through the earthquake crack and fell upon the Mercy Seat of the Ark of the Covenant…
As we mentioned earlier, the blood on the mercy seat was tested. Human cells normally have 46 chromosomes. These are actually 23 pairs of homologous chromosomes. In each pair of chromosomes, one of the pair is from the mother and the other member is from the father. Therefore, 23 chromosomes come from the mother and 23 from the father. In each set of 23, 22 chromosomes are autosomal and one is sex-determining. The sex-determining ones are the X chromosome and the Y chromosome. Females are XX, so they can only contribute an X chromosome to their offspring, whereas males are XY, which allows them to contribute either an X or a Y. If they contribute an X, the child is female, whereas if they contribute a Y, the child is male. The fascinating finding in this blood was that instead of 46 chromosomes, there were only 24. There were 22 autosomal chromosomes, one X chromosome and one Y chromosome. This evidences that the person to whom this blood belonged to had a mother but no human father, because the normal contribution of paternal chromosomes is missing.
Come on folks, that’s comedy gold. But at least now we know what the H stands for in Jesus H. Christ; it stands for haploid.