Worldnutdaily Pushing Creationist Fraud

Worldnutdaily Pushing Creationist Fraud March 9, 2012

I hadn’t noticed until now that over the last few months, the Worldnutdaily has begun publishing video commentaries by Richard Rives, the president of Wyatt Archaeological Research. You can see his archives here. And if you’ve never heard of Wyatt Archaeological Research, strap in; you’re in for a real treat.

Ron Wyatt was a nurse anesthetist from Tennessee who became one of the world’s most ridiculous creationist frauds. Even by creationist standards, this guy was a buffoon and a fraud. He convinced a lot of credulous morons that he had found virtually every holy grail in biblical archaeology — the real Noah’s Ark, the real Mt. Sinai, the exact spot where the Red Sea was parted, the place where Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, and, most amusingly, the Ark of the Covenant (you know, the one that melted the faces of the Nazis in the first Indiana Jones movies. And get this — it had the dried blood of Jesus on it.

Now there’s a fascinating story behind this and the story told by the WAR people appears to have changed a bit. Here’s what their new page on the topic says:

With great anticipation, he looked around to see what else he could see, which wasn’t much. He shined his flashlight around the open area and then up to the ceiling. There, he saw something that caught his eye – it was a crack in the ceiling with a black substance within the crack.

Crawling slowly and painfully over the rocks to the rear of the chamber, he saw a stone case extending through the rocks. It had a flat stone top which was cracked completely in two and the smaller section was moved aside, creating an opening into the stone case. But the top was too near the ceiling for him to look inside. Yet he knew what was inside.

The crack in the ceiling was directly above the cracked part of the lid, where it was open, and the black substance had fallen from the crack into the case because some of it had splashed onto the lid.

It was at this time, as Ron recalls, as the instant realization of what had happened here dawned on him, that he passed out. When he realized that the crack in the ceiling was the end of the crack he had found in the elevated cross-hole many feet above him, and the black substance was blood which had fallen through the crack and into the stone case.

Ron then knew that the Ark of the Covenant was in the stone case: But the most overwhelming realization was that Christ’s Blood had actually fallen onto the Mercy Seat.

He claimed that the Ark was found in a cave beneath Calvary and that the blood of Jesus had flowed down through cracks in the rocks and fallen on the lid of the Ark. But an older version of the story offered some terribly amusing details:

Ron noticed a dried, black substance in an earthquake crack in the roof, above the Ark of the Covenant. He noticed that this black substance was also on the lid of the cracked stone casing. Obviously, this substance had dripped from the crack in the roof, and provision had been made for it to land on the Ark of the Covenant, as the stone lid had been cracked and moved aside. Ron wondered what substance could be so sacred, that God made provision for it to land on the Mercy Seat of the Ark of the Covenant. He remembered the earthquake crack at the foot of the cross hole, and suddenly an awesome realisation as to what had happened, came over him. Ron traced the earthquake crack, and indeed it was the same crack as the one at the cross hole. The dried black substance in the crack was tested and proved to be blood, apparently the blood of Jesus Christ. The Bible says that when Jesus died there was an earthquake and the rocks were rent (Matt. 27:51). A Roman soldier speared Christ in His side in order to make sure He was dead, and blood and water poured out (John 19:34). Ron discovered that this same blood and water poured down through the earthquake crack and fell upon the Mercy Seat of the Ark of the Covenant…

As we mentioned earlier, the blood on the mercy seat was tested. Human cells normally have 46 chromosomes. These are actually 23 pairs of homologous chromosomes. In each pair of chromosomes, one of the pair is from the mother and the other member is from the father. Therefore, 23 chromosomes come from the mother and 23 from the father. In each set of 23, 22 chromosomes are autosomal and one is sex-determining. The sex-determining ones are the X chromosome and the Y chromosome. Females are XX, so they can only contribute an X chromosome to their offspring, whereas males are XY, which allows them to contribute either an X or a Y. If they contribute an X, the child is female, whereas if they contribute a Y, the child is male. The fascinating finding in this blood was that instead of 46 chromosomes, there were only 24. There were 22 autosomal chromosomes, one X chromosome and one Y chromosome. This evidences that the person to whom this blood belonged to had a mother but no human father, because the normal contribution of paternal chromosomes is missing.

Come on folks, that’s comedy gold. But at least now we know what the H stands for in Jesus H. Christ; it stands for haploid.

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  • This is the sort of thing that made me place Creationism in the newage (rhymes with sewage) bin.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    When he realized that the crack in the ceiling was…

    the ass-crack of God!

  • Reginald Selkirk

    I don’t get it. God must have miraculously created that Y chromosome, since it didn’t come from Mary. So why didn’t He just create a full set of autosomals to go with it?

  • d cwilson

    God is the Y-chromosome! It makes perfect sense. Y stands for Yahweh!

    Satan must be the X-chromosome. X stands for, um, eXile, because Satan was eXiled from Heaven.

  • That is just too funny. Batshit crazy. What is not funny are all of the chuckle nuts who will no doubt nod their heads in awe and agreement with that story.

  • rjmx

    Nah. The ‘H’ stands for ‘Harold’, as any fule kno. Like a lot of people, he got his middle name from his father*.

    * “Our father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name”.

  • yoav

    I don’t get it. God must have miraculously created that Y chromosome, since it didn’t come from Mary. So why didn’t He just create a full set of autosomals to go with it?

    He was too busy helping christians find a good parking spot at the mall.

  • timothyyoung

    Did you know that there’s a sect based on a Biblical typo.

    1 Corinthians 13:13 reads “Faith, hop, and charity, and the greatest of these is hop.” The sect is consequently known as “Seventh Day Advent Hoppists” and members spend every Sunday hopping.

  • Aquaria

    Worldnutdaily Pushing Creationist Fraud

    And this is different from the other varieties of fraud (the whole enterprise) pushes…

    …How?

  • Abby Normal

    @timothyyoung

    Must make it smegging hard to serve the soup at family dinner.

  • timberwoof

    I see your Bloody Crack of Doom and I raise you an Eye of Argon: http://www.ansible.co.uk/misc/eyeargon.pdf

  • Blondin

    “Our father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name”.

    I thought it was Howard.

    A little niece of a friend of mine used to say, “Our father who art in heaven, ‘Hello, what’s your name?'”

  • RustD

    “Seventh Day Advent Hoppists”

    Arnold J Rimmer, BSc., SSc. was a second technician on mining ship Red Dwarf.

  • While I’m not suggesting that anyone go there and engage him, there’s guy who signs as “Milo” at the hauntedblog that Ed used to run. He’s on the Ron Wyatt thread and he’s teh batshit KKKrazzee enough to make our old friend, Pat, sound like the voice of reason. I mean, really, Really, REALLY demented.

  • unbound

    Perhaps he meant that there were 24 pairs of chromosomes…which means Jesus likely had Down’s Syndrome?

    If he means 12 pairs of chromosome, that would mean that Jesus was a plant of some kind?

  • Reginald Selkirk

    Let’s hope not – many plants are into polyploidy, which sounds perverted.

  • Dexeron

    Did you know that there’s a sect based on a Biblical typo.

    1 Corinthians 13:13 reads “Faith, hop, and charity, and the greatest of these is hop.” The sect is consequently known as “Seventh Day Advent Hoppists” and members spend every Sunday hopping.

    Not to mention the whole debate over what COLOR the hats are supposed to be!

  • raven

    IIRC, Wyatt Pseudoarchaeology is the same group that recently found Noah’s Ark on Mt. Ararat.

    I doubt anyone knows how often Noah’s ark has been found, a lot though.

    IIRC, jesus has three tombs. And of course, had 17 penises, that being the number of jesus foreskins the Catholic church had at one time.

    His burial shroud is of course, in Turin Italy.

    The CIA has the Ark of the Covenant.

    What is left? The Holy Grail. The True Cross. Jesus’s coffee cup and cell phone.

    PS As lame as this is, it is reassuring that much of the money fundies send off to their “leaders” is just scammed for opulent life styles. At least it isn’t going to bring about their New Dark Age.

  • enopoletusharding

    Wyatt Pseudoarchaeology did not recently “discover” Noah’s Ark, which Ron Wyatt “discovered” (at the Durupinar site) back in 1979. Also, Wyatt himself doubted the Turin shroud’s authenticity. The Ark of the Covenant was said by him to still be in the “Ark Chamber” close to the Garden Tomb.

    His “Ark of the Covenant” discovery was obviously fake, the 2005-6 Wyatt Archaeological Research excavations showing it is not there. I have written a detailed post examining the Ark claims with the title of “The Saga of the Ark of the Covenant” at the Against Jebel al-Lawz blog.

  • unbound #15:

    If he means 12 pairs of chromosome, that would mean that Jesus was a plant of some kind?

    A tomato. http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_chromosomes_does_a_tomatoes_plant_have_in_a_cell

  • raven #18:

    IIRC, jesus has three tombs. And of course, had 17 penises, that being the number of jesus foreskins the Catholic church had at one time.

    No, no, no! Jesus had such awesome powers of regeneration that as fast as they chopped one foreskin off, another grew. Only 17 of the cuttings have been found. So far.

    Far be it from the Catholic church to lie to you!

  • raven

    Wyatt Pseudoarchaeology did not recently “discover” Noah’s Ark, which Ron Wyatt “discovered” (at the Durupinar site) back in 1979.

    Noah’s Ark claimed discovered on Mt Ararat in Turkey

    biblicalgeology.net/blog/noahs-ark-discovered-mt-ararat/

    27 Apr 2010 – Breaking news reports: Explorers have discovered Noah’s Ark high on Mt Ararat in Turkey. A group of Chinese and Turkish evangelical …

    Oh. Noah’s Ark has been discovered so many times they just sort of blend together after a while.

  • dingojack

    Dear Mr Wyatt –

    Could we please get a sample of Jesus’ blood? We wish to gene sequence god’s Y chromosome.

    Thanks,

    Dingo

  • enopoletusharding

    @dingojack-Ron Wyatt is dead as of 1999. Mary Nell, his wife, and his two sons, Danny and Ronnie, are still alive. I’m afraid you have to ask Mary Nell for the blood sample.

  • dingojack

    Well all Ron’s gotta do is stick a syringe into god, draw off some nice fresh blood and then drop it off a conviently placed low cloud.

    BINGO – the whole of god’s DNA. And it’s fresh!

    Shouldn’t be too hard surely?

    Dingo

  • dingojack

    Assuming Wyatt isn’t elsewhere, of course. God doesn’t take too well to being mocked and made to look a fool, I’ve heard.

    God NYAH NYAH, HA HA*.

    Dingo

    —–

    * Who wants to spend eternity sitting around telling him how good he is?

    Is god so totally insecure he needs constant ego-stroking?

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    But at least now we know what the H stands for in Jesus H. Christ; it stands for haploid.

    Where I come from it stands for “hang-gliding”.

  • So did he try extracting the ark without touching it?

  • dingojack

    Ace of Sevens – or himself?

    🙂 Dingo

  • dingojack

    Maybe that mysertious ‘black stubstance’ was holy santorum (Batman)!

    Hope he didn’t taste it.

    Dingo

  • dingojack

    Ed – “Creationist fraud“?

    Quick! Call the Federal NDoSR&R* Department…

    Dingo

    —–

    * National Department of Superfluous Repetition and Redundancy

  • So many cracks and holes…

  • “But at least now we know what the H stands for in Jesus H. Christ; it stands for haploid.”

    That line, there, is pure comedic brilliance!

    “Jesus haploid Christ!” seriously needs to become A Thing.

  • lancifer

    Maybe Jesus was a gamete.

    Perhaps the spirit of God “came” upon Him.

  • mikeym

    dingojack @31

    National Department of Superfluous Repetition and Redundancy

    I think you’ll find that particular agency is actually named the National Department of Superfluous Repetition and Redundancy Department.

  • alanuk

    Is this Richard Rives related to David Rives (the voices and mannerisms match)?

  • anfractuous

    “Ron discovered that this same blood and water poured down through the earthquake crack ”

    Wait, he found 2000 year old water drops on that lid too?

  • dingojack

    mikeym – yes, I already said that! I expresed that idea earlier in time!

    Dingo

  • llewelly

    Wait, he found 2000 year old water drops on that lid too?

    It was dried water. You’d be amazed at how long dried water can last. You can even rehydrate it …

  • @llewelly (#39) — *snicker*

  • 1 Corinthians 13:13 reads “Faith, hop, and charity, and the greatest of these is hop.”

    You’re quite correct about the typo but wrong about the interpretation. Paul was talking about the Holy Hops! Beer is God and God is beer!

  • It was dried water. You’d be amazed at how long dried water can last. You can even rehydrate it …

    You may have to be old as dirt to appreciate this … my slightly older than dirt (uh, me) brother told me he stopped watching Captain Video because of one one show where Cap read off a list of supplies, including dehydrated water.

  • Sastra

    Look, forget the forensic stuff, that’s just scientism. The significant thing here is that this is eyewitness testimony. And, as anyone who works in law enforcement or the legal profession will tell you, eyewitness testimony is the strongest kind of evidence you can have. And here it is.

    Now, could Wyatt be lying? I think the best way to determine this is to read it for yourself, with an open mind. Does it sound like the confused, vague, half-finished sort of thing you get with a lie? Or is there specific detail and fact, clarity of expression, ease of language and flow of narrative — and the sincere and steady voice of a man who knows what he knows, and isn’t afraid to say it?

    Friends, let me tell you. When I read Wyatt’s story it struck me as someone telling the truth. There were just too many facts which are hard to interpret in any other way — and too many tests which give the solid, concrete sort of proof you’d expect to see when someone has a solid case.

    And the sincerity! I ask you, how could anyone read this tale and not feel the excitement this brave explorer must have felt? You’d have to have a heart of stone. He even passed out! Does that sound like someone who knows he’s lying? Why would he pass out?

    Well, I am convinced. I resisted it, but the evidence here demands a verdict … and it is in.

    Look. If you don’t accept this, then you might as well not accept the Bible.

  • How much do you want to bet that Ron Wyatt’s dog ate a lot of Ron’s homework when he was a kid.

  • “Ron Wyatt’s dog ate a lot of Ron’s homework when he was a kid.”

    And then re-cycled it as work product?

  • tassilo

    Ron Wyatt’s major discovery is that the money isn’t in nursing.

  • It had a flat stone top which was cracked completely in two and the smaller section was moved aside, creating an opening into the stone case.

    Proof that Aslan was reborn thanks to the Emperor Beyond the Sea.

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