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Astrologers Say Obama to Win Reelection

Astrologers Say Obama to Win Reelection June 7, 2012

From the department of stupidity, Reuters actually reports a story about astrologers saying that Obama is going to win reelection in November because of … oh, who the hell cares what it’s because of, some idiotic bit of celestial bullshit that they’ve pulled out of their asses.

The votes are in and it is unanimous: Barack Obama will win re-election to the U.S. presidency in November, according to five astrologers who offered predictions at their convention on Tuesday.

Each of the five astrologers on the presidential panel explained how they came to their assessments, with most relying on studies of celestial charts pertinent to both Obama and presumed Republican nominee Mitt Romney for the date of either the election itself or the next presidential inauguration.

For Chicago astrologist and corporate lawyer Nina Gryphon, it was her study of the Aries ingress – the exact time when the Sun enters the sign of Aries – that clinched the decision. “It’s obvious,” she said. “Obama stays where he is without a change in status.”

But another astrologer has a different bit of “evidence” for the prediction:

Denver astrologer Chris Brennan said his chart study focused on public profiles of the two presidential candidates, both of whom “are entering into peak periods of eminence in the next few months.” But he said there was a key difference: “Obama’s peak period stays consistent throughout the election, whereas Romney’s seems to falter a few weeks before the election,” he said.

Most of the panelists placed a high degree of certainty on their forecast, but a few pointed to potential difficulties Obama may face after his predicted re-election.

“The ingress of Saturn into Scorpio may trouble him,” Brennan said. “It won’t cost him the election, but it may indicate difficulties in the first half of his second term.” ..

As to the election itself, Brennan raised the possibility of the contested 2000 election being revisited.

“We should all be aware of the Mercury retrograde that will occur on election day,” he said, referring to an optical illusion that can make a planet appear to reverse direction temporarily.

Ooh, looks like we have a battle between the “ingress of Saturn into Scorpio” and the “Aries ingress.” A battle to the death. Or to the moronic, more likely. I’d love to hear them try to explain the causal relationship between these astronomical events and votes. They would babble like idiots trying to do so.

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