Dumbass Quote of the Day

Dumbass Quote of the Day July 17, 2012

Linda Nelson has a lot of letters after her name. Her bio: “CHom, NCTMB, is a member of NASH, NCH, AMTA. Linda graduated from Homeopathy School of Colorado, which is now Homeopathy School International.” Which explains why she’s saying staggeringly stupid things like this:

Have you been struggling with chronic problems over the years and nothing seems to be getting any better? This is where the beauty of homeopathy excels; however, you have to have the patience to work with a qualified Classical Homeopathic Practitioner who has years of experience…

The best way to find your constitutional remedy is to have a thorough intake visit to see which remedy most resembles your body, emotions and mental picture.

You could use that to fertilize a garden. And there’s more:

This is when homeopathy works so well because it is not one remedy for everyone it is for you specifically and your symptom picture which encompasses your mental, emotional and physical situation. Let me give you a few examples: Your immune system is low and you keep manifesting cysts, polyps, tumors, herpes outbreaks, etc., and you are wondering where all this is coming from since your sex life has been limited.

These symptoms may not be coming from you and your life experiences, they may be coming from your family history that no one wanted to talk about because it was too embarrassing. We also need to remember two things: Males rarely show symptoms of Chlamydia and Chlamydia is on the rise nationwide. One of the remedies that we have to look at is Chlamydium which is taken from a person who has Chlamydia. Why would we want to put such a horrible disease into our body? The body will kick out the disease that is vibrating at a lower vibration to help balance itself. This is the same theory as vaccinations.

Uh, no. It’s not. One would have to be either deluded or a con (wo)man to talk about diseases “vibrating at a lower vibration.”

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  • “Classical Homeopathic Practitioner”

    Surely Baroque Homeopathic Practice has much better fugal states.

  • Remember, folks, a properly prepared homeopathic “remedy” consists of water, with no active ingredient. You’re paying someone to give you water.

  • Blondin

    She forgot to mention the poo-bombs.

  • Gregory in Seattle

    This is when placebo works so well because it is not one remedy for everyone it is for you specifically and your symptom picture which encompasses your mental, emotional and physical situation.

    Same thing.

  • “Classical Homeopathic Practitioner”

    I prefer a Modern Homeopathic Practitioner. Technology today allows us to get homeopathic cures to 99.999999999999% water!

  • matty1

    If you have herpes or chlamydia as a result of your family history (does she mean infection at birth?). Please, please seek actual medical treatment both for yourself and the other family members concerned.

  • Have you been struggling with chronic problems over the years and nothing seems to be getting any better?

    The come to us – Nothing is our specialty!

  • The body will kick out the disease that is vibrating at a lower vibration to help balance itself. This is the same theory as vaccinations.

    Wow, just wow. The new ‘vibration’ theory of disease sounds amazing. Please, may I give you my money; I’m gonna go out on a limb and call her an evil bitch. Nobody can be so deluded as to think that actually works and recommend it to people as legitimate health care.

  • DaveL

    One of the remedies that we have to look at is Chlamydium which is taken from a person who has Chlamydia. Why would we want to put such a horrible disease into our body? The body will kick out the disease that is vibrating at a lower vibration to help balance itself. This is the same theory as vaccinations.

    Homeopathy: It’s just like vaccination, only stupid.

  • garyb

    I have a 3 month old grandson who just started to teethe. We were babysitting the little guy over the weekend and he started getting fussy so I made the trip to the local Walmart to pick up some Anbesol for his gums. They didn’t have any Anbesol but they did have Orajel which is a similar product, or so I thought. In a move that is out of character for me I decided to read the label. The baby version of Orajel is a frikkin homeopathic remedy shaken and stirred to 12x.

    I could have taken that shit home, applied it to the little guy’s gums and then wondered all frikkin day why it didn’t help. What the hell is a supposedly serious company doing putting out such crap?

  • dingojack

    Ok Ed here’s where I offically begin my meme:

    Jesus! [facepalm]“!

    Dingo

  • scienceavenger

    As a former alternative medical professional, I suggest always watching out for these bullshit indicator words: balance, energy, toxins, natural, and allopathic. The person spewing this nonsense is either an idiot or a con man. If you are feeling snarky (as I often am), demand objective definitions of these terms, and watch the mad equivocation dance.

  • oranje

    Have they done for the vibration thing after watching a five minute interview with Brian Greene about String Theory? Sounds like the right kind of logic.

    Also, the idea to look at family history for STDs is marvelously awful.

  • Abby Normal

    Re: richardelguru @1

    You have a point. The somewhat more modern romantic practitioners have too many idiosyncrasies.

  • garyb

    “Linda Nelson has a lot of letters after her name”

    She’s missing a couple; DERP and DUFUS.

  • Herpes is a virus. There are several different types. The most prominent characteristic of all herpesvirus types is that once you’re infected, you’re infected forever. The virus may go dormant for a little while (or a long while), but then may reactivate without warning.

    Herpes Type 1 is primarily responsible for cold sores. You don’t get a cold sore every week. You get them once in a while. Your immune system suppresses the virus. Some antiviral drugs and creams help.

    Herpes Type 2 is primarily responsible for genital lesions (“dew on a rose petal” is the clinical mnemonic). Some antiviral drugs help; and people who get a lot of outbreaks may feel better taking antiviral meds prophylactically. But there’s no cure.

    If you’ve ever had a case of the chicken pox, you’re infected with herpes. Reactivation of the herpes zoster virus results in shingles. This can be quite painful. Get a shingles vaccine when you turn 50. Antiviral meds can help with shingles pain, but is not a panacea.

    There are other types of herpes viruses that cause disease, often in immune compromised persons (a friend of mine is currently waging a battle with CMV after a kidney transplant).

    Not one of these viruses responds to water therapy.

    Linda Nelson is a quack. A dangerous quack.

  • yoav

    A little woo to english translation.

    however, you have to have the patience to work with a qualified Classical Homeopathic Practitioner who has years of experience…

    Translate: I’m buying a new house so you should make repeat, billable, appointments at the end of which I will give you a glass of water and tell you that you feel better.

    This is when homeopathy works so well because it is not one remedy for everyone it is for you specifically and your symptom picture which encompasses your mental, emotional and physical situation

    Translate: This is my get out of jail free card, I will use this to explain why it’s your fault that the magic water don’t work because you just didn’t believe hard enough.

    Let me give you a few examples: Your immune system is low and you keep manifesting cysts, polyps, tumors, herpes outbreaks, etc., and you are wondering where all this is coming from since your sex life has been limited.

    Translate: I went to Hogwarts instead of to a real school so I have no fukcing idea about the difference between infectious diseases and cancer so I’ll just throw some buzzwords and hope you’re gullible enough to give me money.

  • d cwilson

    This is when homeopathy works so well because it is not one remedy for everyone it is for you specifically and your symptom picture which encompasses your mental, emotional and physical situation

    Get your own customized glass of water right here!

    This reminds me another field of quackery I’ve encountered in my professional life: Ozonators. People will sell these as the solution to killing everything from mold spores to bacteria to mites in your home. And it does it by pumping out ozone, a dangerous lung irritant. Yes, in sufficient quantities, it will kill mold spores by oxidizing them, but it will also oxidize the lining of your lungs. This is why the EPA issues ozone warnings on smoggy days.

    But don’t worry, the ozone put out by the ozonators is a different, magical kind of “good” ozone that is totally different from the “bad” ozone put out by power plants and car exhaust.

    Ozone is three oxygen atoms joined together. The molecule doesn’t give a shit whether it came out of your tailpipe or the magical ozonator. And when it encounters an organic molecule, it doesn’t give a rat’s ass whether that molecule is part of a mold spore or your lungs. It will oxydize it.

  • Kevin’s post: I have to ask, is the existence of Type 1 and Type 2 considered evidence for ancient oral sex?

    Sorry just had to ask.

  • “Homeopathy: It’s just like vaccination, only it might result in your not getting REAL treatment that may help you.”

    Sorry, that needed tweaking.

  • ah58

    Garyb @10 “The baby version of Orajel is a frikkin homeopathic remedy shaken and stirred to 12x. ”

    The baby Orajel that I found on Walmart’s page had benzocaine as the active ingredient.

    http://www.walmart.com/ip/Baby-Orajel-For-Teething-Cherry-Flavored-Gel-Oral-Pain-Reliever/14520424#Ingredients

    Going or Orajel’s site they also sell a “natural” version that has clove extract as its active ingredient.

    While I admit my Google-fu may have failed me, I couldn’t find anything homeopathic on either site.

  • JustaTech

    @ richardelguru: Well, HSV1 and HSV2 (herpes simplex virus 1 and 2) are different strains of herpes. They used to be “oral” and “genital” until researchers realized that you could get either one in either place. (I’m not sure but I think there are other types of HSV. The herpes lab was next door to the HIV lab I worked in. No on wanted to share our lunch table.)

    So the answer to your question is “sort of”.

  • Sastra

    “This is when homeopathy works so well because it is not one remedy for everyone it is for you specifically and your symptom picture which encompasses your mental, emotional and physical situation.”

    I just got back from TAM. Sunday, I took a “cold reading” workshop given by Ray Hyman. The above sounds like a lovely example of patter to set the stage. Make them feel as if they’re the most important part of the team: they will then do the mental work to make the reading fit.

    usingreason #8 wrote:

    Nobody can be so deluded as to think that actually works and recommend it to people as legitimate health care.

    You’re an optimist.

  • This is where the beauty of homeopathy excels; however, you have to have the patience to work with a qualified Classical Homeopathic Practitioner who has years of experience…

    Pah! I ground up a “Classical Homeopathic Practitioner who has years of experience”, mixed him in with an olympic-size swimming pool’s worth of water, sampled that, shook it and drank it. Now I’m a million times more experter than even the greatest “Classical Homeopathic Practitioner who has years of experience”!

    Kneel before me and tremble! Moo ha-ha!

  • Nibi

    Your immune system is low and you keep manifesting cysts, polyps, tumors, herpes outbreaks, etc., and you are wondering where all this is coming from since your sex life has been limited.

    OMFG!

    These symptoms may not be coming from you and your life experiences, they may be coming from your family history that no one wanted to talk about because it was too embarrassing.

    Phewww…

    One of the remedies that we have to look at is Chlamydium which is taken from a person who has Chlamydia. Why would we want to put such a horrible disease into our body?

    Look, the local smack dealer was out of junk – what was I to do?

    The body will kick out the disease that is vibrating at a lower vibration to help balance itself.

    Now that’s just silly. Trust me.

    Nibi, BS, MS, BFD, MoMOD

  • wscott

    This is when homeopathy works so well because it is not one remedy for everyone it is for you specifically and your symptom picture which encompasses your mental, emotional and physical situation.

    Science Based medicine just had a thorough debunking of the notion that homeopathy is more effective because it’s more “individualized.” Not that many here need to be convinced…

    http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/index.php/testing-the-individualization-of-cam-treatments/