Worst. Christian. Video. Ever.

Worst. Christian. Video. Ever. July 21, 2012

Man, I don’t know how this came to mind the other day. And I’m almost sorry to inflict it on you. It’s Christian “singer” Carmen doing America Again. It starts with a pack of lies and fake quotes from the founding fathers, then goes into a horrible song that is so cheesy you could make fondue out of it. You’re welcome.


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  • tuibguy

    You what other country was a Christian Nation? Great Britain!

  • tuibguy

    Fuck. “You know what other country was a Christian Nation? Great Britain!”

    Pithiness destroyed by carelessness is a sad thing.

  • jayarrrr

    This must be an old video, or Carmen has a picture painted by the same guy who did Dorian Grey in his attic, because he looks the same as he did in 1985.

  • But they have to lie. If they told the truth, nobody would go to church.

  • At this point, tonstant wistener fwowed up.

  • So many fake quotes. Wow.

  • jayarrrr:

    This must be an old video, or Carmen has a picture painted by the same guy who did Dorian Grey in his attic, because he looks the same as he did in 1985.

    1993, it seems.

    His prediction that America won’t last the decade seems to have been a little bit incorrect. Though his call for increased theocracy has been answered. So maybe he’d think this song was a success.

  • laurie

    That has got to be the worst lipstick color ever. Oh, and he said some really stupid things. I don’t know, the bad make up was pretty distracting.

  • UGH! I didn’t through the first minute of it, esp after he said a particular person in history said this nation was founded on the “Gospel of Jesus Christ”. He did not say that. That was so bad, anyone actually educated would know this is a groaner, as well as packed with lies.

  • Pyra

    Agh! My adolescent attempt to appease my first love’s unhappiness with my non-religious bent has been brought back to mind. A weekend conference, with a concert of this kind of tripe, all coming back and hurting my brain. If I were the wicked witch of the Northwest, I’d be melting from this song!

  • Stevarious

    I don’t suppose it occurred to the makers of this video how weird it is to paste ‘IN GOD WE TRUST’ and ‘ONE NATION UNDER GOD’ over shots of colonials, when those phrases didn’t make it into national discourse until the 1950’s?

  • Having to listen to this song at church camp is one of the main things that turned me against Christianity. True story.

  • ohioobserver

    It’s all lies,of course, EVERY WORD of it, except maybe the little articles. So what? It tells the fundy theocrats what they want to hear and confirms their bias. It won’t convince any rational or reality/fact-based mind. It’s because of impenetrable nonsense like this that I’m starting to give up on arguing with religious righties and concentrate on getting more real people to vote.

  • I agree with Laurie (#8). The singer’s got hisself some pretty lips, but he used waaaaayyy too much ChapStick.

  • Ryan

    Carman was actually the first concert I ever went to. Our whole youth group piled into the church van and went. At the time, I thought he had powerful stuff, and we were going to use it to change the world for Christ. He had another song called “There is a God” that’s full of fine-tuning BS that really impressed me at the time. Bear in mind I was in 8th grade at the time.

  • “Worst. Christian. Video. Ever.”

    Ed, you must STOP using superlatives when talking about the relative values of shittiness associated with KKKristianity. There is NO FUCKING BOTTOM.

    “Worst. Christian. Video. So far.”

    That works.

  • octoberfurst

    Oh the pain! The pain! I’m glad I am not a diabetic because I would have needed some insulin after watching that video. So stupid and syrupy.

    So all our problems would be solved in we just had more God in our lives eh? Considering that we are one of the most Christian nations on earth I wonder how much more of God do we need? Most European nations are very secular and they don’t have nearly the problems we do.

    I found it funny that Carmen thinks we should be handing out Bibles in schools. As if doing so would magically make all the boys and girls just wonderful little darlings. (Mind you, the vast majority of these students DO go to church and I assume have access to Bibles.)

  • dan4

    @7″Though his called for increased theocracy have been answered.”

    Care to elaborate? I haven’t noticed any “increased theocracy” in the U.S. since 1993.

  • andrewlephong

    Yo dawg, I heard you like Carman, so I’ll put a link to a Carman rap video so you can hear some dope rhymes while you laugh at him.


  • John Phillips, FCD

    dan4, you are joking, right? Right? For FSM’ssake, I have been watching it all this time from all the way over on this side of the pond. An obvious example, Congress’s fixation since 2010, when the Republicans took over, on, as Rachel Maddow puts it, jobs, jobs, jabortions. Additionally, since 2010 there have been nearly 200 bills at the state level on anti-abortion or anti-reproductive rights issues, none of which are promoted by secularists. Oh and not forgetting their continued campaigning against and demonisating of gays, and all of the above is just the Republican controlled Congress.

    Admittedly, I personally think much of it is the lashing out of a cornered and very slowly dying, or at least shrinking, beast, for, as poll after poll suggests, even the majority on their side of the political spectrum, especially among younger elements, don’t agree with them. Sadly, in the process they are still capable of and intent on doing an awful lot of damage to many areas, especially womens’ health issues and education.

    Oh, and by the way, in their lashing out, they are still exporting the toxicity of their particular beliefs to the rest of the world. Look who is behind many of the often murderous anti-gay laws in the xian countries on the African continent. Look up The Fellowship, also known as The Family, and K street and their ties to members, mainly Reps but some Dems as well, of Congress and the Senate.

    @democommie, consider your post at #16 QFFT, there is no bottom.

  • fallingwhale

    Fun fact: those are fake Barton quotes.

    It all comes back to him again.

  • Michael Heath

    democommie writes:

    Ed, you must STOP using superlatives when talking about the relative values of shittiness associated with KKKristianity. There is NO FUCKING BOTTOM.

    For me it’s not that I don’t think this population can’t sink lower and then do. Instead it’s that a large segment of this population will sink to levels of idiocy and delusional I didn’t think possible for a group to both sink to and be successful at it resonating within their population. Especially given how far we’ve advanced in our understanding of reality.

    So I’m not surprised that people like, Sarah Palin, David Barton, or this yahoo exist, it’s that they’re so influential amongst conservative Christians.

  • jboggs

    As ridiculous as it is now, that song triggered a lot of nostalgia for me – also, my first concert.

  • TCC

    Yikes, my first concert, too. I don’t even want to get started on the memories I have of Carman.

    Also, this isn’t the worst Christian video ever – that title belongs to Sonseed.

  • Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven

    Just Googled the lyrics. Eww.

    I think I was taken to one of his concerts when I was 12-13, due to being friends with the son of the pastor at a local church. I’m happy to say I spent most of the concert chatting with, and fantasizing about having non-marital sex in the “cowgirl” position with, one of the girls in the Youth Group. ^.^

  • Come on, guys! This used car salesman seems like he knows what he’s talking about!

  • F

    Come on, guys! This used car salesman seems like he knows what he’s talking about!

    double plus one internets

    Meanwhile, the National Review another used car salesman is possibly gonna get sued.

  • One of the reasons I didn’t play the video is because I thought, after reading a few of the comments that another dinosaur of rockpop had gone over to the dick side. I was pleased to find, after a little googling, that he is NOT Eric Carmen, of the Raspberries (sp). Not that I was ever a fan of Carmen’s or the Raspberries but it’s nice to know he’s NOT the same guy.

    After playing approximately 15 seconds of the video, I went looking for some airplane glue–if I’m gonna destroy my brain I’d rather have fun doing it.

  • Michael Heath

    TCC writes:

    [Carman’s “American Again” video] isn’t the worst Christian video ever – that title belongs to Sonseed.

    Wow, I think the Sonseed video can compete for worst music video ever beyond all categories, including the video of my 18 month-old nephew banging on piano keys.

  • Chris from Europe

    I wondered why he’d use a female first name, but his stage name is written Carman.

  • Draken

    Much closer to Cartman, that.

  • robb

    my first concert was ABBA. my second Ozzy. i think carman wamed up for Ozzy…no, wait, it was Motley Crue: Shout at the Devil!