The batshit crazy Eugene Delgaudio isn’t just a guy who raises money with hysterical screeds and hilarious fantasies about how persecuted he is, he’s also an elected official in Loudon County, VA. And he’s now under investigation for misuse of his office. Now I don’t have any idea whether he’s guilty of that or not, but the speech he gave at a recent meeting when the investigation was officially started is brilliantly loony. You can watch the video here, but here’s a partial transcript:
“I’m glad we have supervisor elections every four years, isn’t it great? You know, every four years we decide that election; and The Washington Post promptly forgets about it, and cancels that election.
What an honor to be a substitute for Sarah Palin and Chick-fil-A in the media. The suicide bombers of the political left pull their own rings on their detonation devices as they advance on me, and Sterling, and all honest-to-God conservatives.
Liberals blow themselves up as they approach me with their fantastic lies about what I do, and what all normal God-fearing Americans do, and I’ll explain that.
The liberals destroy themselves with misrepresentations, mistruth, libel, slander, exaggeration and outright falsehoods, and victimize many innocent victims. This form of propaganda madness does no one any good. And they have failed and they will fail – four times with me.
In my style, I often give you a hyperbole alert. OK, here it is, hyperbole alert: Around here in Washington, all you have to say is quote, ‘The Washington Post reports.’ Quote, unquote.
The Washington Post has printed attacks on me for years; when I first came here in 1982, and probably a dozen times since I’ve been elected as supervisor.
They oppose me and all Christians for taking a stand in support of the Boy Scouts traditional marriage and, yes, even eating chicken at the restaurant of your choice.
There’s nothing new in this latest slander against me, which the Post is simply repeating, and that other organizations are simply repeating. And some well-meaning liberals have come forward to do the same thing.
This is more than an attack on my simple methods at finding support for youth sports leagues, more than an attack on noncontroversial and straightforward record of winning four elections in Sterling.
In the case of the small sports youth league, it’s an attack on the accomplishments and dreams and character building of 10,000 young people who have come through the youth football system in the past 40 years, or the 10,000 that will come in the next 40 years.
There’s a spot lamp on what I do, and how I do it. That’s great. Thank you, Chairman York, thank you, colleagues.
I welcome the spot lamp on the county policy and on me, and how I conducted myself with the county policy. I hope it does come to light that some of the requests that I’ve made and some of the guidance I’ve received can now come to light in the public eye; that I’ve been following that advice. That advice has been given to me, and I appreciate it, and I’ve taken it to heart. And I’ve ask for it as early as 2007.
What makes the liberals really mad…… the fact that I have fought them and their liberal friends for 30 years unceasingly and apologetically.
The elitist liberals demand my minority majority—the fact that my district is filled with minorities by 55 percent— they demand that they stop voting and demand a dictatorship like an occupying hoard to be installed and imposed on Sterling as punishment. I represent a neighborhood with 60 percent minority while helping a community to survive.
But the fact that I largely ignore the Washington Post is the most annoying thing to them. And that Loudoun itself ignores the Washington Post, too. The work of raising families and keeping the peace so that families can be raised – that is the mission of this Sterling supervisor, and of every supervisor, yesterday, today and tomorrow. That is a lesson bigger than all of us.
That is what The Washington Post and the liberals in the media are attacking. People in Sterling, Loudoun and Washington ignore the Post. That’s why the Post and the liberals in the media are ignored and irrelevant.
Helping Sterling like their life depended on it, like America depended on it, like Western civilization depended on it, like all humankind depends upon it – that’s what I learned from the many men and women who devote their lives to youth sports leagues, like the Lower Loudoun Football League and so many others. Many families have full-time parents, but let’s take a minute here, understand that these sports leagues for every sport require an army of full-time family members pouring 40 to 80 hours each week to make the entire youth sports operation function.
My last sentence – for 30 years, I stand as a bite marker to the rest of the county and the country right here at your doorstep. For four terms, and God willing more terms, I stand as a small David against the foul-smelling, decaying corpse of the Washington Post. I trust the good people of Sterling to know the truth by simply talking to me. I won’t let misguided liberals come between me and the people. Thank you.”
If he wasn’t actually nuts, if this was an attempt at a very clever Poe, it would be Andy Kaufman-level genius.